ladydreamer: Woman in near profile holds a long handheld gun up with dramatic lighting. (Default)
[personal profile] ladydreamer

Title: The Life and Times of a Quasi-Repentant Flowerpot

Pairings: Furt/Kinn (main), Finchel (shortly), Klaine (side, brief)

Includes: mpreg, flirting with brotherly love

Summary: When Finn is attacked by a bad case of baby rabies but Rachel is too focused on her career to do the honors, Kurt is conscripted to be their surrogate. Once Kurt actually gets pregnant, though, everything starts to get much more complicated.

AU wherein Kurt is two years younger than Finn, Kurt and Blaine didn't get together while at Dalton, and Rachel never got into the arts school of her dreams because she’s a spoiled diva. 

 

Chapter One: Third Wheel

 

"What… are you... doing?" 

 

Rachel craned her head to the side to better observe Kurt laying on the floor with his legs propped straight up against the wall of their living room.

 

"I'm obviously having baby-making sex with your fiancé." He paged through the book he was reading on his purple Kindle Excelsior without looking at her.

 

She frowned and stared at him for another moment.

 

"Actually, you missed the baby-making sex. The babydaddy is now soaking in some serious disinfectant."

 

"What the hell…? Oh." She rolled her eyes. "You know, just because your memoir won a humor award doesn't mean everything you say is hilarious."

 

"Am I old enough to have a ‘memoir’?" Kurt let his head fall back. "I'm not sure where Finn is, though. After we got done, he seemed grossed out, so he went out to bring us pizza for dinner."

 

"Yeah. I'm sure if I had a brother to knock up with a turkey baster," Rachel said as she lowered herself down onto the mauve carpet with Kurt, "hunger would be my first reaction… Does this help?"

 

"Gravity helps, or so my lesbian friends claim. Keep the hips tilted up. You'll have a squealing Finchel mini-diva in no time."

 

Rachel chuckled. "I think it might take some time. Thank you, again, for doing this."

 

"Finn wants a baby so badly. It's hard to deny him when I have this man-womb going completely unused."

 

Obviously, Kurt was just joking around, but his words stung a little. She wasn't doing anything with her womb either, but she'd been putting off the wedding, and the baby-making, in hopes of launching her career. It would be harder, once she had children. Her body would change so much, plus she couldn't get parts while she was a hippo. So when Finn proposed they let Kurt be a surrogate, it was hard to come up with a reason why they shouldn't do that either. She'd agreed to it, assuming Kurt would say absolutely not. He was so finicky about his figure. But he hadn't. He'd said yes and offered himself up for them.

 

Kurt was a writer now, though. His first book had hit the best-seller list. They could take his generosity. There was nothing about this surrogacy thing that was wrong or creepy… Well, the whole brother thing was a little…

 

"I mean, you can just see him vibrate with the baby rabies," Kurt continued.

 

Rachel bowed her head and shook with laughter.

 

"At this point, I think he might try to impregnate himself, if we didn't stop him."

 

"Pregnant Finn." Rachel wrinkled her nose. "There's… an image."

 

"Aw. You won't think I'm cute when I'm huge?!" Kurt said in a feigned tearful voice.

 

"You're always cute!" She bopped his nose, then looked up as she heard a crash at the backdoor. "Speaking of our clumsy sperm donor."

 

Kurt's eyes rolled back, watching upside down as Finn clumsily tromped into the living room.

 

"Hey!"

 

"Into the kitchen!" Rachel ordered. "You have mud on your shoes."

 

"Like it's going to ruin the carpet. Not when it's that color," Kurt teased.

 

"I'm a brilliant interior decorator," she informed him, pushing Finn into the other room.

 

"Hey, how's it going?" Finn called out over his shoulder.

 

"Um, peachy keen," Kurt replied.

 

Finn set the pizza down, kicked off his shoes, and jogged across the living room to go sit with Kurt. "Anything?"

 

"I'm not sure what you're looking for here. Your baby batter hasn't even been in me for more than an hour."

 

"I just wanna know how you feel." Finn leaned back against the wall and pouted.

 

Rachel came out with plates and napkins. "Do not start yet. I'm going to get a blanket to put on the floor."

 

"Yes, mommy," Kurt said.

 

Rachel glared at Kurt.

 

"You'd better get used to that."

 

Finn grinned and reached over to touch his brother, his big hand strangely gentle moving over Kurt's stomach. The wry smile on Kurt's lips faded, and he looked at Finn solemnly. Rachel felt her cheeks redden, then she hurried to get the blanket.

 

---

 

Kurt was sick.

 

The boys hadn’t even gotten a positive pregnancy test yet. But there they were, family dinner night, and dinner was burning because Kurt couldn’t go back into the kitchen without getting nauseous again.

 

Carole darted in and took the pans off the burners, looked around to assess the damage, then decided to start from scratch. She pulled some butter and milk from the fridge, set them on the counter, and turned to the spice rack.

 

“Oh, I can-” Kurt put the back of his hand to his mouth and backed away from the doorway.

 

“Don’t think about it,” Carole instructed. “Go sit down. I’ll bring you some water.”

 

She had to admit that this was a strange situation, and she wasn’t entirely comfortable with what the kids had decided to do. It was their choice, though, and if Finn and Rachel felt they were ready for a baby, and Kurt felt comfortable with giving them his child, then who was she to tell them their life?

 

This was going to be a lot of stress on Kurt, though, and she wasn’t sure why he’d agreed to be their surrogate, even after the boys had explained what they were doing to her and Burt. Surely Rachel had girlfriends who would be willing... Maybe not. She tended to alienate the girls around her. Kurt would know some girls, though, who they could have asked.

 

She could hear him breathing heavily in the other room, then jumping up to dart for the bathroom again. 

 

Morning sickness. At six in the evening. Bless his heart.

 

After putting on some pasta, getting a sauce going, and setting it on low, she stuck a mug of water in the microwave for a minute. Then she pulled out some saltines and a peppermint teabag.

 

“What’s cookin’?” Burt entered from the backdoor, then looked around the kitchen at all the pots and pans in the sink. “Or... what’s notcookin’?”

 

“Kurt’s not feeling well.” The microwave beeped, and Carole took the mug out and stuck the teabag in it. 

 

Burt’s anxiety over his baby boy being knocked up was palatable. “Huh. You think he’s...?”

 

“Probably. That was the goal, wasn’t it? Wash your hands. I need you to stir the sauce while I take this to him.”

 

Burt shook his head, then did as he was told. Carole stirred some sweetener into the tea and went into the other room, where Kurt was curled up in a chair, holding his stomach.

 

“You’re such a trooper for doing this,” Carole told him.

 

“I don’t even know if I am, yet,” Kurt replied. 

 

She raised a brow, then walked over and gave him the tea first, setting the crackers next to him. “Eat some of those. It should settle your stomach enough to help you get through dinner.”

 

“What if it’s just the flu?”

 

“Are you... hoping that it is?” Carole watched his face. 

 

Kurt just shrugged and sipped the tea. 

 

She sighed and put her hands on her knees. “This is a big decision to make, hon. It’s not like lending someone a cup of sugar. You’re lending them your body for nine months.”

 

“You know how much Finn wants a baby.” He forced a little smile, then reached for a cracker. He nibbled around the edge, then put it down.

 

“It’s not your responsibility to fulfill that want, though.”

 

“No. But I can.” Kurt frowned and rubbed his stomach with one hand.

 

“If you’re feeling like this, you could probably take a test tonight,” Carole suggested. She petted over the back of his hair. “I could send your father out to get one.”


“No. I have one at my place. I can take it in the morning.”

 

Carole nodded. “Don’t be afraid to assert yourself with Rachel and Finn. You’re doing them one of the biggest favors you could offer.”

 

 “What are you saying?” Kurt looked up at her, arching a brow high.

 

“I just-” Carole chose her words carefully, and a bit slowly. “-know how Rachel can be. You three might want to work out an agreement upfront to make this less complicated.”

 

“It’ll be their baby, not mine.”

 

Carole frowned. She didn’t want to talk him out of this. Not when Finn did want to be a father this much and she wanted it for him so dearly. But she also didn’t want her other son to be caught up in a potentially extremely painful situation. Of course, there was a chance that this would all go smoothly, Kurt would have an uneventful, even enjoyable pregnancy, and when he handed them the baby, Finn and Rachel would be happy parents, Rachel would calm down and settle into her life here in Westerville, and Kurt would be the doting, semi-famous uncle with no regrets from any side. 

 

She leaned over and kissed his forehead. “Just take it easy, and look out for yourself.”

 

Then she returned the kitchen to make sure Burt wasn’t setting it on fire. 

 

---

 

Kurt rolled out of bed with a groan. His head was throbbing. It felt like he was hung over, but he definitely wasn’t. After shuffling across the cold wooden floor wearing nothing but a pair of pajama bottoms, his eyes focused on the pregnancy test waiting on his sink.

 

“What am I doing?”

 

He picked it up and looked over the instructions one more time. Then he closed his eyes. 

 

A minute later he was washing his hands and then stepped back into his bedroom. He jumped in place when he saw Finn there on his bed. 

 

“Stalker!” Kurt accused.

 

“Dude, I have a key. I was just coming to check up on you. You looked pretty bad last night... Have you eaten breakfast?”

 

“Ugh.” Kurt curled his lip up and went to pull on a shirt.

 

“Even if you’re not pregnant yet, you should eat.”

 

“I’ll get some juice in a minute.”

 

“Juice isn’t enough,” Finn protested. “We could go back to the house. Rachel has some lox in the fridge, and we could have that with bagels and cream cheese. I think the lox are still good. I mean, they have this really strong fishy smell, but they’re not slimy yet-”

 

Kurt bolted for the bathroom.

 

As he bowed over the toilet, he thought: What a cliché I am.


Then: Please let it be the flu.

 

Finn’s big hand touched his back, then began to rub in circles.

 

“You’re pregnant.” His words were warm, and fond, and unabashedly happy.

 

“W-We don’t know that yet,” Kurt murmured. His face felt hot, and his insides churned.

 

“That’s what the stick says.”

 

Kurt heaved again. When he took a breath, he could hear the sound of water running, and then he turned around, and Finn put a glass in his hand.

 

“Drink something, then get back in bed.” Finn smiled. His face was warm and fond and unabashedly happy.

 

Kurt touched his stomach and without thinking, smiled back. “You’re gonna be a daddy.”

 

“C’mon.” Finn helped him up and guided him back to bed. “Finish the water. You need a lot of that.”

 

Kurt drank as he watched Finn leave the room. Then he pulled up his shirt to look at his flat stomach. Was this the worst idea ever? God, what was going to happen to his abs? Still, Finn was so happy. And he would make a great dad. And it wasn’t like Kurt could back out now. He was just getting cold feet.

 

Actually, his floor was pretty cold.

 

A moment later, Finn returned with a plate of crackers and cut up fruit.

 

“Sorry about making you sick before, talking about the-”

 

“That’s okay,” Kurt said quickly.

 

“The internet says some crackers before you get out of bed will help with morning sickness.” Finn looked at the plate. “You also don’t have that much actual food in your kitchen.”

 

“I get stuff when I plan to cook.” Kurt took a cracker. 

 

“Yeah, but you’ll need more now, right? I read you need to graze, if you’re getting sick. Five meals a day.”

 

“You’re reading a lot about this.”

 

“I uh...” Finn touched the back of his neck and sat on the edge of the bed. “I’ve been reading about it off and on for a couple of years. Y’know, hoping Rachel would be ready soon. I mean, my teaching is a pretty steady job, even if she only works part time so she can keep trying to break into acting. And I have the private drum lessons, and those pay well. We’re as secure as we’ll ever be unless Rachel decides to get a different career that’s steady and actually pays.”

 

Kurt licked some melon juice off of his fingers. “No more waiting now.”

 

“Except the time it takes to cook.” Finn poked Kurt’s stomach.

 

“Hey! Hands off the sacred vessel.” Kurt frowned and wrapped his arms around himself. His pout didn’t last for long, though, and soon he was smiling again at the thought of Finn holding a little baby something or other.

 

Finn’s grin lit up his face. “You lemme know if you need anything. Okay?” 

 

Finn’s hand rested on Kurt’s leg. Kurt nodded, feeling a little awkward.

 

“Mom said she got you some tea... I can bring it over later.”

 

“That would probably help.”

 

“Are you gonna write today?”

 

“Well. Yeah. Write. Go for a run.”

 

Finn frowned. “Should you?”

 

“I don’t see why not. Exercise isn’t verboten when you’re knocked up. I think they even encourage it these days.” Kurt took a cut up strawberry and wrapped his lips around it. Nausea fading, hunger rising. That tasted fantastic. Finn’s eyes fixed on him intensely as he sucked on a finger. Then he amended, “Well, until I have a beach ball attached to my front, and then I might want to rethink the exercise regime.”

 

“We should probably talk to a doctor about it. They’ll be able to give you some alternatives later on, you think? The only thing I read about that was bad was like, horseback riding.”

 

“Ah, yes. The famed Hummelian love of horses.”

 

Finn rolled his eyes.

 

“I should also avoid my old favorites football and rugby. Oh, and pole vaulting. Skydiving. The luge.”

 

“You’re a card.”

 

“I’m the Queen of Diamonds.”

 

“P-p-pokerface.” Finn rose and crossed his arms. “I’ll let you know when I’ve cleared some time to go doctor hunting. One book I read-”

 

Kurt smirked. “You’ve read pregnancy books? Whole books? I’m impressed.”

 

“Shut it, sacred vessel. It said we should interview the doctors together. See which ones you’re the most comfortable with. Then later on you and Rachel can find a lamaze or another type of birthing class you both like.”

 

Kurt paused with his lips around a grape to grimace at the thought.

 

“Or I could go, too. Whatever’s... comfortable. You should do whatever makes this easier on you. Y’know... Whatever makes you-”

 

“Comfortable?” No such thing could coexist in Kurt’s brain with birth.

 

Finn dipped his head and chuckled. “I can’t thank you enough for doing this for us, Kurt. We really appreciate it. With any other way, we’d have to worry about the expense of insemination, or the person changing their mind and running off with our baby... Rachel would have to go through an egg harvest and all that stuff, and that’s like a major procedure. You’re like a life-saver for us.”

 

“Well, medical bills aren’t cheap, even with a regular... arrangement.”

 

“Yeah, but we can handle that. And we will. Don’t worry about anything. We’ve got it.” Finn bent over and hugged Kurt around the shoulders. 

 

Gosh, Finn just wanted a little baby so much. He had for years. Poor clucky doofus.

 

Kurt patted Finn’s back and looked up at him. “Finn, I’m your brother. I care about you, okay? You want this, and I can help you with it. That’s all there is to it.” He laughed softly. “I’m having your baby.”

 

Kurt’s head was spinning and he wasn’t sure it was just the morning sickness.

 

“Still. Thank you.” Finn stood there awkwardly for a moment, then stepped back. “Okay, I gotta go to work, but call me if you need anything.”

 

---

 

“This isn’t exactly the circumstance I was worried about when we first moved you guys in together,” Burt said, looking over Kurt and Finn’s faces, then to Rachel who was holding Finn’s hand a little possessively.

 

Carole chuckled and rubbed Kurt’s back as she sat down next to him. “Congratulations, guys. Finn, I can’t wait to see you as a father.”

 

Carole’s twelve year old nephew Jacob looked around at them all and frowned. “The baby’ll be a freak.”

 

“Watch it, kiddo,” Burt warned. He wasn’t jazzed about keeping Deana’s kid here when he constantly made comments about Kurt to begin with, but Carole seemed to think they could straighten the boy out.

 

“I mean, it’ll have one set of grandparents,” Jacob said. “It’ll be deranged.”

 

“Jacob,” Burt said. “Just can it. He won’t be deranged.”


“The kid won’t even know, until it’s older,” Kurt said. “It’ll have a perfectly normal upbringing... until it’s a teenager, when everyone finds out their families are crazy anyway.”

 

Carole laughed. “Oh, that’s so true.”

“If that’s true then why are my cousins having a baby together now? I’m still in junior high,” Jacob objected.

 

“You’re advanced,” Finn replied. “And anyway, Rachel and I are having a baby together. Kurt’s just...”

 

“A flowerpot,” Kurt supplied flippantly.

 

Carole covered her mouth. Even Jacob cracked a smile.

 

“Thanks. I’m sure that helps a lot with the confusion,” Burt said.

 

“I’m not confused,” Jacob said. “I just think you’re really weird.”

 

“Ignoring you now,” Finn said.

 

“That was true for me before I got knocked up.” Kurt sank back into the sofa.

 

“Still feeling pukey?” Carole petted Kurt’s hair.

 

“Yeah. Comes with the territory, I guess,” Kurt murmured.

 

“When you’re feeling better, you can come with Rachel and me to pick out things for the baby’s room.”

 

“Isn’t it a bit early for that?” Rachel asked. She folded her hands in her lap.

 

“Oh, I don’t think so. Anyway, we don’t have to buy right away. You’ll be having a baby shower.” Carole beamed and rested her cheek on her hand. “Since this is your first, after all. I’m so excited for you kids! Have you told your dads yet, Rachel?”

 

“No, not yet.” She smiled tensely. “I wanted us to have the chance to tell them in person.”

 

“We can invite ‘em over for dinner. A real Hudmelberry celebration,” Burt suggested.

 

“Oh, that’s just what I need.” Kurt looked at Carole. “Your first grandkid! We need to throw a party! Obviously!”

 

Carole hugged Kurt with one arm.

 

“Will you be able to cook?” Finn asked.

 

“I’m a great chef,” Kurt replied.

 

“I’m just sayin’... With the morning sickness...”

 

“Still that bad?” Carole petted his back.

 

“Kind of... Whatever. It’s a party. I’ll make it work,” Kurt declared.

 

Finn bounced in his seat and beamed at Rachel. “Isn’t this awesome? The whole family’s gonna get together to celebrate our new baby!”

 

“It’s amazing. Unbelievable, even.” Rachel leaned on him and looked over to Carole and Kurt, who were chattering about party details.

 

---

 

It had been two weeks since finding out that Kurt was pregnant, and Finn was still giddy at the very thought of it. He wanted to pinch his brother’s cheeks whenever he saw him, and he’d picked up a few baby things at the store earlier that day before visiting to check in on him. Finn grabbed all the bags and headed inside, eager to talk to Rachel about starting on the nursery, and the doctor interviews. That was really important, for Kurt to be comfortable with the doctor and all the medical stuff.

 

Rachel chucked a pillow at Finn’s head the moment he walked through the door.

 

“Whoa. What’s the problem? What did I do?” Finn set down the bags and came closer. He wondered if that was why they called them “throw” pillows. She’d already turned around, crossed her arms and started sulking.

 

“You’re late. Again.”

 

“I was at Kurt’s. He’s having a really hard time with the nausea, even at night. I’m just trying to help him get through this first rough patch.” Finn stopped before touching her shoulders. “He is giving up a lot to do this for us.”

 

“I’m sure he’s sacrificing so much. Like it matters if a writer sits around and gets fat.”

 

“Pregnancy isn’t easy. It’s not just the weight. Wasn’t that your line?” Finn frowned and gestured with each excuse Rachel had given him. “Pregnancy is hard. It takes up all your energy and time, it can jeopardize your health, it’s more than an ‘inconvenience,’ I can’t possibly expect you to do that and while you’re still chasing your dreams? All that stuff?” He shook his head. “Kurt needs energy to do his writing, and he hasn’t even been able to do that much lately. He is having to give up time he would be working on his new book to cope with the changes in his body and how bad he feels. It’s still a sacrifice, Rachel, even if it’s someone else doing it!”

 

“You’re just spending all of your time over there,” Rachel said. She covered her face.

 

Finn knew she wasn’t really crying. Because he’d seen her practice that move when she needed to fake it during lines without the tears muddling up the clarity of her speech.

 

“You could spend time over there, too. Kurt’s your friend, and he’s carrying our kid. You could support him a little.”

 

could use your support.” Rachel turned to him. “You don’t have to be over there as much as you have been. You go over there even when he doesn’t call. You like spending time with him. Admit it!”

 

“Uh.” Finn shook his head. “He’s my brother. Yeah, I do like spending time with him. You sound like you’re accusing me of something dirty.”

 

“It would just be nice to actually see my fiancé once and a while.” She turned and stormed into the kitchen.

 

“I haven’t done anything wrong!” Finn snapped. “Why don’t you stop being so selfish and go be with him? He could use a friend.”

 

“Like I want to spend time with the other woman,” Rachel grumbled.

 

Finn’s eyes went wide. He went into the kitchen. “Rachel, he’s my brother. There’s no reason for you to be jealous.”

 

“No, no.” She raised a finger. “I’m not stupid. I see how you look at him.”

 

“But I’m not gay. And he’s my brother.”

 

“Every time you two are in a room together, he winces, or sighs, or starts to feign being uncomfortable or nauseous, and every single time you rush to him and try to comfort him, and you look at him like you can’t wait to get him into bed.”

 

“What? You’re outta your friggin’ mind! Kurt’s not faking. His body is being flooded with hormones. He is uncomfortable and nauseous. He’ssick.”

 

“You’re sick,” she spat.


With that, she disappeared into the hallway. Her heels clicked as she ran up the stairs. Finn knew that she wanted him to follow her to the bedroom, where he’d find her crying real tears so he could rub her shoulders and assure her that she was the only woman... person? In his life that mattered at all.

 

But he had just gotten done watching Kurt have a surprise marathon puking session thanks to a lunch meeting from earlier that hadn’t settled well, and it had ended with the occasional dry heave because his stomach just wasn’t done expelling things. Finn had wrapped him up in a blanket and some pillows on the bathroom floor and fed him Gatorade until he got sleepy. Kurt hadn’t wanted to leave the bathroom, in case he started throwing up again.

 

Then Finn had made Kurt promise to come with him to see one of the doctors, even though they hadn’t settled on one yet, within the week so someone could help them get this under control. Kurt had given him a weak little smile, then told him to go home, because Rachel would be waiting up.

 

Finn was tired. He was worn out after taking care of Kurt, who was in no way faking or putting on any of his symptoms. He was just trying to get through them, with a smile and some bad jokes and being stronger than he was. That was the faked part, and Finn wasn’t falling for it. Kurt was really nervous about being pregnant now that it was actually happening. Kurt had always had ambivalent feelings about his ability to get pregnant, and he was doing it anyway. Obviously because Finn wanted it so much.

 

Finn went back out the front door, slamming it behind him.


Ten minutes later, he was back at Kurt’s apartment. He headed for the bathroom to see if Kurt was still there, and sure enough, Kurt was curled up on the floor, frowning and licking his dry lips pitifully.

 

“I thought you were going home?” Kurt muttered.

 

“I decided to stay the night. What do you need?”

 

“I dunno. I feel gross. You don’t have to be here. I’ll fall back asleep eventually.”

 

“Yeah, well. I want to.” Finn went to get Kurt some water, then sat with him while he drank it. “I bought some juice earlier. Maybe we should just try to keep some liquids in you. Juice. Broth?”

 

“As long as it’s not too strong.” Kurt leaned back into Finn’s chest and closed his eyes.

 

Finn rubbed his hand over Kurt’s stomach, and smiled lopsidedly when Kurt groaned.

 

“Is it sad that I’m looking forward to the getting fat part, just so that this part will be over?”

 

“No, I think that’s probably normal. I hear having morning sickness is good, though. It means your body is getting everything ready for the baby.”

 

Kurt nodded. “I’ll survive it. I’ve survived everything else. And then it’ll be fodder for another book.”

 

“No doubt.” Finn chuckled. He leaned forward and rested his chin on Kurt’s shoulder. When Kurt stiffened, he realized that maybe this was a little too close for Kurt.

 

He shifted Kurt around and got up. “Let me get that juice. You’ll feel better if you have something on your stomach.”

 

Kurt touched his lips and shook his head. Tears shone unexpectedly in his eyes, though none fell. “T-Thank you for staying with me tonight. It’s stupid, but-”

 

“Hey.” Finn crouched down and wrapped his arms around Kurt again. “It’s not stupid. Not at all. This is hard. It’s a big deal. You shouldn’t have to do it alone.”

 

Kurt nodded. Finn petted the back of Kurt’s hair and waited for his body to warm a little before getting up. 

 

“How about a warm bath, too? That’ll probably make you feel less gross.” Finn reached over him and started the bath water. “You got any of those relaxy crystal things?”

 

Kurt chuckled. “I have tons.”

 

“I’ll pour ‘em in. It’s pamper Kurt night.”

 

“I could definitely go for that right about now.” Kurt wiped his eyes and smiled as he laid his head back against the side of the tub. 

Finn clicked his tongue and started to look through Kurt’s cabinet. “Okay, smelly relaxy stuff... Nothing too strongly scented...”

 

After Kurt had gotten in the bath, Finn just let him chill out in there for a little while. He laid out a long, soft-looking shirt and a pair of briefs on Kurt’s bed for when he wanted to get out. Then Finn busied himself in the kitchen, trying to figure out what would upset Kurt’s stomach theleast.

 

He bit his lip, then started to pull stuff out. His kitchen skills were limited, and Kurt only had the bare minimum set up in this apartment, but he could do comfort food. When Kurt padded out into the kitchen, wearing the shirt and a pair of matching socks, he looked small and pale. 

 

“Anything smell too strong for you?” Finn asked warily.

 

“No. Is that mac and cheese?” Kurt’s brows raised.

 

Finn felt like jumping up and down in joy. “Yeah. Mom’s recipe. I tried to keep the butter low, ‘cause the internet says fat is harder to digest, but carbs can help... Do you want some?”

 

Kurt seemed to think about it, then nodded. “Yeah. That sounds great, actually. It smells really good.”

 

“You’re probably really hungry by now. Let’s start with a small portion. I don’t want it to be heavy in your stomach and make you sick again.” 

 

Kurt sat at the small, round table and pulled his feet up. Finn sat across from him with a bowl of his own. 

 

“Umph,” Kurt said appreciatively as he took a bite.

 

“Yep.” Sneakily, Finn watched Kurt eat as he scarfed down his own. Kurt ate it very slowly. Almost one macaroni at a time.

 

It was kind of adorable.

 

Finn flushed at the realization, but he figured, Kurt was his little brother. He could think he was adorable, and there was nothing sick about that.

 

When he finished, Finn offered to get him some more, but Kurt shook his head. 

 

“I’m not going to press my luck. I can get more later if this works out. Anyway, it was really, really good, so I don’t want any bad associations with the Finncaroni.”

 

Finn chuckled and moved to clean up. “Well, I’m glad something worked. Hunger makes nausea worse.” 

“Is that from the books or the internet?” Kurt teased.

 

“Both!” Finn scraped the rest of the macaroni into a plastic container and put it into the fridge. “C’mon. Let’s go watch something. Maybe it’ll help you sleep.”

 

“I’ll be in there in a minute. I have a frillion blue rays. Pick something you’ll like.”

 

Finn nodded and went into the other room. A moment later, he heard the water running, and realized that he’d forgotten the dishes. Because Kurt was doing them. He stayed where he was for a moment, crouched in front of the media rack, trying to decide if he should go in there, but the moment passed when the water stopped, and it started again in the bathroom.

 

Kurt returned, crossing his arms loosely over himself. “All minty fresh. Find something?”

 

“Uh, I dunno.” 

 

Kurt shrugged and fell back onto the sofa. “I like it all. It’s my collection. I’m always up for a musical, but amazingly, there’s some horror stuff in there, too. And comedies.”

 

“Probably something funny, yeah?” Finn looked over the meticulously ordered shelf and pulled out a slim case with Kevin Kline dancing with bouquet on the front. “In & Out?”

 

“Have you seen that before?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“You’ll probably like it. You like Kevin Kline, and Rachel has inoculated you to romcoms.”

 

Finn popped it in, kicked off his shoes, and curled up on the couch with Kurt. He grabbed the blanket draping over the back and put it around Kurt’s shoulders. Kurt sighed and rested his head on Finn’s shoulder.

 

His heart sped up.

 

Goddamn Rachel and her crazy diva jealousy. Now she had him thinking weird things about Kurt, and he wasn’t even gay.

 

He just cared about his brother a lot. That was all.

 

Less than halfway through the movie, Kurt started to dose. Finn smiled and rubbed his back. He was really glad he’d returned. This arrangement was much, much better than Kurt sprawled on the bathroom floor all night, sick and hungry and alone.

 

That was when he realized what they needed to do. It would solve everything.

 

---

 

Rachel smiled at Finn as he took her by the arm and led her to their table at Bel Lago. It had been ages since they’d had a proper night out, and they both enjoyed Italian food.

 

Finn understood that this was potentially a massively dumb thing he was doing. Rachel liked an audience, so if she decided to freak out, then she would freak out ten times more. He held her chair and sat across from her. Then he took her hand across the table and rubbed it with his thumb. 

 

“This is nice,” she said.

 

“Yeah. Wish there were more places to go here in Westerville, but at least it’s not like Lima. Then it was Breadsticks or bust. Maybe next date night we can do a little driving, and I’ll take you somewhere new. Kurt knows a lot of places in Columbus... And he’s mentioned a couple of spots here I’ve never tried. The Daltonites pretty much escaped the school and flooded the town with dudes in blazers every chance they got. As far as I could tell from stories, anyway.”

 

“That’s an interesting mental image. Flock of Warblers? Does he still talk to any of them?”

 

“Um, some, I guess. David and Wes on Facebook... Nick’s still in the vicinity. I don’t think Kurt was intending on staying down here for that long, but he met up with some of them whenever he visited for holidays.”

 

“What about that one he had a crush on?”

 

“Huh. I dunno. I didn’t know he had a crush on one of them... We weren’t as close then, I guess. Just getting used to us being brothers.”

 

Rachel picked up a breadstick. “He’s not been with anyone in a while.”

 

“I guess not. I mean, he made some jokes when he was prepping the... you know. Anyway, he said this was the most intimate he’d been in about a year. And he hoped the baster was gentle with him.”

 

Rachel laughed and pushed her hair back. She seemed to be in a better mood regarding Kurt right now. That was a good sign.

 

“So, uh, I thought about what you said. About me spending so much time with Kurt. And... Look, the other night, it was really bad. If he’s been by himself the whole time...”

 

Her smile faded.

 

“Anyway, I thought if we asked him to move in for a little while, through the hard part anyway, that I’d be around a lot more, and I could just, y’know, see when he needs something instead of having to go out to check up on him. Then I’d be able to spend the rest of the time with you and not worry. We have the extra room, and he’s really clean, so... and that way you can be more involved with the baby, too.”

 

“What if he says no?” Rachel asked.

 

“I don’t think he will.” Finn pulled his lips to the side and shook his head. “I mean, he’s stubborn and everything, but the other night... It sucks to be that sick and be alone. He’s not dumb. And he’s doing this for us, so if I tell ‘im that we’d like him to do this to make it better for us, too, it would probably make it easier for him to say yes.”

 

Rachel set her breadstick down and looked at it. “You probably should ask him. A lot can go wrong with a pregnancy.”

 

Finn nodded. “Good. Then I’ll just talk to him, and we’ll iron it all out. One big happy family.”

 

“Look, Finn, I...” Rachel wiped her fingers off. “I hope you can be happy and supportive of me...”

 

“I always am,” Finn said. He narrowed his eyes. “Did something happen?”

 

“I got a part.” She looked up. “It’s in L.A., and it’s a big deal. It could turn into something that really launches my career.”

 

“Oh.” Finn felt himself grow colder. He looked to the floor. “How long will you be gone?”

 

“That’s the thing.” Rachel paused. 

 

Dramatically.

 

For effect.

 

Finn looked up, because he was supposed to.

 

“I’m not coming back.”

 

“What?” Finn physically recoiled from her. “But- But we’re having a baby!”

 

You’re having a baby. I mean, you and Kurt are. I’m no part of this, and if I’m honest with myself,” she said as she touched her chest, “my career has always been my baby. I can’t pass this up Finn, and I know that if you really think about it, I’m doing what’s best for every-”

 

“You are not!” Finn picked up his napkin and threw it on the table. “You’re doing what’s best for you. If you didn’t want to have a baby, why the hell didn’t you say so before we got Kurt pregnant?”

 

You got Kurt pregnant,” she clarified.

 

“I can’t believe you could be this selfish!”

 

“I can’t believe you could be! This is my dream, Finn! This is what I’ve wanted since I was a little girl! How can you tie me down like this! How can you hold me back!” Rachel bowed her shoulders over and let out a little sob.

 

“Oh, stop it. That fake crying thing is old, and it doesn’t even look real!”

 

She glared at him. He’d broken the rules.

 

“This is a baby. It’s our baby. And it’s not something that you can just make disappear because you changed your mind!” 

 

“Actually, you can. There’s a clinic on Fourth and Main,” she snapped.

 

“Who are you? I know this is important to you, but this is kind of a big fucking deal, Rachel!”

 

At this point, Finn realized that he was the one making the scene. But there was no getting out of it now.

 

“You could always come with me!” Her eyes lit up and grew a little wider, watching him closely. “We could go together, and you could start looking for parts, too. I know you prefer being close to your family and you’ve never been in such a big city, but once you get used to it-”

 

“I have a life here. I have my own career, and a baby on the way. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“Then... I guess you’ve made your choice.” Rachel stood and dropped her napkin on the table. “I’m taking the part. I’m going. And I’m sorry you can’t be happy for me.”

 

She walked out of the restaurant in a slow, determined stride. She wanted him to go after her. She wanted him to... either beg her to stay, or to apologize and say he’d come with her. She’d probably like it even more if he waited until she was leaving to do either.

 

But it wasn’t that easy. Kurt was pregnant, and even if Kurt decided to... God, Finn didn’t even want to think about it. But he couldn’t tell Kurt that he wasn’t allowed to do that. This was complicated and a stupid last minute rush to the airport wasn’t going to solve it.

 

Finn felt sick.

 

---

 

”When’s she coming back?” Kurt sat down next to Finn on the sofa.

 

Finn didn’t answer immediately. He’d just dropped the bombshell about Rachel’s big new gig in L.A. She’d already packed and left the house, so Kurt hadn’t even had a chance to speak to her. Finn figured she would be at a hotel until her flight, and he hadn’t spoken to her either, since they’d run into one another in the hallway and blown up in another fight.

 

And now he had to tell his brother, his pregnant brother, who had only been doing this for them, that there was no them. There was no coupleto adopt the baby he was carrying. 

 

“I guess I could get Carole for lamaze, or whatever, when the time comes...” Kurt muttered. “If she doesn’t get back in time for that part-”

 

“She’s not coming back.” Finn stood and kicked the ottoman so hard that it knocked into the coffee table.

 

Kurt said nothing. He stared up at Finn for a long moment. Then his eyes cast downward at the awful mauve carpeting in this horrifyingly decorated house that Rachel and Finn had just bought the year before when Finn had gotten a better teaching job, and they’d agreed to stay in Westerville where Burt and Carole had moved the family during Kurt’s junior year so they could afford to send him to Dalton for two more years as a day student.

 

“She said she was ready. She said she wanted this.” Finn crossed his arms and shook his head, then stormed into the kitchen. “She said that it was just the timing, and that she needed to keep her figure for roles. What friggin’ roles! The bit parts in commercials? Reading the news to stoners at four am?”

 

He grabbed a beer, slammed it down on the counter, and then stood over the sink and leaned forward on his palms. He heard Kurt when he finally entered the kitchen. Nothing was said by either of them for a long time, but Kurt eventually came up to Finn and put his hand on Finn’s shoulder.

 

“I’m sorry, Finn. I’m sorry she left you. I know... I never really been in a long term relationship, not that long term... I can’t really understand how this feels, but I imagine... It’s not unlike being disemboweled.”

 

Finn turned his head back to see Kurt’s raised brow, his sympathetic and painfully bright blue eyes.

 

“Guess you’re off the hook,” Finn muttered down at the sink.

 

“Off the hook?” Kurt tilted his head to the side. “I don’t... What? Are you saying I’m cool?”

 

Finn looked back again sharply, and when he saw that Kurt really was confused, he laughed involuntarily. “No. But you are pretty cool. I don’t know of many sisters, let alone brothers, that would be willing to offer themselves up like you did. But you don’t have to do that now. I mean...”

 

“Wait. What are you...?” Kurt stepped back and crossed his arms over himself. “Are you asking me to have an abortion?”

 

Finn shook his head. “It’s your choice.”

 

“But...” Kurt stepped back again, then dropped into a chair at the table. “What is this? Do you want me to? You’re done with me? And... and well, the embryo, I guess. It’s not even a fetus yet.”

 

“I’m not telling you what to do.” Finn pressed his thumbs hard against his eyebrows.

 

“So, what, I’m on my own here?” Kurt’s voice cut sharply. “Do whatever you want with the thing? You don’t care?”

 

Finn glared at him, but his expression softened when he saw how vulnerable Kurt looked. God, he was so mad at Rachel, and he was trying to make this better, but he wasn’t, at all. Maybe there was no making it better.

 

“You’re not on your own. And I care, but Kurt... I can’t offer what I thought I could. There’s no family waiting for this baby anymore. I don’t think Rach and I are getting back together this time, and... It’s just me. I mean, I won’t stop you if you want to get rid of it. I know how hard this has been on you already. If you decide to keep it...”

 

Kurt’s voice grew both delicate and pensive, and he folded his hands between his legs and looked up at Finn like he was peeling away all his layers with his eyes. ”I’m asking what you want, Finn.” 

 

Kurt knew things. He knew him. Even before Rachel started reading his mind, Kurt had always had pulse on what Finn was feeling. He gave him songs that helped him express what was going on inside of him. He got him, like no one else really did. It had been scary, before they had become brothers. It had been hard to think about.

 

Finn wasn’t sure he wanted Kurt to get it this time, though. It was too much to ask.

 

“Kurt, it’s your body. Your body, your-”

 

“It is my choice. That’s not what I’m asking.” He licked his lips and tilted his head to the side, waiting for an answer.

 

“I can’t...” Finn ran his hands through his hair and growled.

 

“Well, you’re the only one still here. And I know that it’s my choice, and ultimately, I’ll do what I think is best. But I want to know what you want to do about it. Do you want the baby? I have to ask, at least. Because if you don’t... that’s easy enough. I’ll recover pretty quickly, and no harm done.” Kurt paused and reached out for Finn’s hand.

 

Finn jerked away. He hadn’t realized how closely he’d drifted toward his brother. “What, and if I want it, you’ll have it for me?”

 

“I... I don’t know. But I need to know what you want before we figure that out.”

 

“How is this a we question?”

 

Kurt looked to the side and blinked. “Well. Because. I asked you. The baby is yours-”

 

“It was supposed to be mine and Rachel’s. I’d be a single dad.”

 

Kurt met his eye again. “So, you... want me to take care of it?”

 

“No!”

 

Kurt ducked his head down and pressed the back of his hand to his mouth.

 

“Oh, man.” Finn dropped to one knee and leaned forward. “Kurt, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”

 

Kurt’s eyes were shiny, but he wasn’t sobbing. “I’m just hormonal. You know that.”

 

“I want the baby. I want it so bad.” Finn balled his fists. “I couldn’t believe it when you agreed to do this for me and Rachel, but now... I don’t know that I can ask you to do this for me.”

 

Kurt rubbed his fingers over his mouth, then sat back and sighed, watching Finn’s face very, very seriously. 

 

“I was always doing it for you.”

.

 

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ladydreamer: Woman in near profile holds a long handheld gun up with dramatic lighting. (Default)
Jenny Wrayne

August 2017

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