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Series: No Day But Today
Title: Scare
Pairing: Klaine
Word Count: ~5311
Summary: Daily life continues as Kurt makes the rounds around town and Blaine goes out with the scouts to see if there are any survivors, but Kurt has something heavy weighing on his mind.
AN: This is the song sung in the story: http://youtu.be/6aaRR3AW4FU
I should be doing so many other things.
In. Out. The air was pulled and pushed in and out of his lungs by sheer force of will. Kurt held his back pin straight, and in his trembling hands, a tray of food he was trying to ignore. A bowl of soup, hearty bread (made by his darling fiancé before he’d headed out that morning), canned fruit, and a few pieces of chocolate that Van had looted and been hoarding for a special occasion.
He swallowed, pushing back the familiar burning sensation at his throat and the rolling of his stomach, accompanied by a tightening chest and slick palms. It defied reason that he could sweat in this weather. He scaled the steps into Brittany and Santana’s house.
The new bedroom where they’d put Santana was a mess. Unsurprising, since Brittany was the only one up and around. Kurt scanned over the room, then narrowed his eyes. Santana was probably in the bed, but if so, she was hidden amongst the blankets. He drew closer and set the tray on the nightstand before turning to lift each layer slowly, slowly.
“Santana? I have-”
“I heard you come in,” she snapped. Her voice was raspier than usual, but that she could speak at all was a good sign. Also good was that she had enough fight in her to be annoyed at being awakened.
He ignored her tone. “I brought you something to eat.”
“Is Britt back?”
“No, but I’ll let you know when she is. Why don’t you try it? She’ll be happy to know you ate.” Kurt threw back the blanket Santana was hiding under and received a glare of death. He smirked at her, then turned back to the tray.
“You look like a walker. What’s wrong with you?” She pushed herself up carefully.
“A walker!” Kurt curled his lips back, then rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you shut up? Doctor’s orders.”
“Seriously. You’re paler than I’ve ever seen you, and that’s saying something, because you were always a pretty little cracker.” Santana stopped and leaned back against the pillows. The pith had slowly oozed out of her voice until her final words weakened and wobbled and sounded almost concerned.
“Blaine made you some bread before he left.” Kurt leaned over and put the spoon in the soup. “Swallow what you can?”
Santana tried a mouthful of soup. She winced a little as she ate. “How hard is the bread?” she asked, her voice now almost a whisper.
“Let’s dip it in the broth, hm? That should make it soft enough. And there’s some choc-” Kurt shut his mouth tightly and turned his head as he felt his insides starting to rebel. How he’d manage to finish making this soup was itself a miracle.
“What?”
“Nothing. Just... One minute.” Kurt’s voice sounded stupidly high and breathy and cheerful to himself, but he didn’t look back. He just shot up and walked quickly out of the bedroom.
He made it as far as the trashcan in the living room before he started to heave.
After what seemed like a long time, he let himself stumble to the floor, draped himself against the sofa and pressed a hand across his stomach. His eyes fell closed.
No. Please, no. He mouthed the words like a prayer. Please, no. Not now.
“Hey.”
Kurt looked up to see Santana standing over him, her arms hugging over herself and her expression weirdly open and vulnerable. She looked like she might fall any moment.
“Sorry.” He pushed himself up. “Did you need something?”
“No. I just heard... So, you’re not okay. What is it?”
“It’s nothing. Don’t worry.” Kurt wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led back to the bedroom.
“You need to brush your teeth.”
“So do you,” Kurt replied dryly.
“Want some of my chocolate?” she offered.
Kurt raised his brows. “I must really look terrible.”
Santana looked up at him as he helped her back into bed, her eyebrows knit with a strange mix of suspicion and worry. “He hurt you too, right?”
“Not that bad.”
“But he tried.”
“I ran into him in the hallway. He was surprised. Dropped what he’d stolen and panicked.” Kurt sat on the edge of the bed and arranged her pillows. “Maybe he would have tried something if he’d had the chance, but he didn’t have much of one before Blaine came at him...”
She laid her head back and watched him for another moment. Then her eyes grew wider. “Ohh.”
“I don’t know what you’re Oh-ing about.” Kurt moved the tray closer to her. “Try to eat some more. I’ll get the tray when you’re done, okay?”
“Maybe you should lie down, too.” And with that, she was Santana again. Smirking away with those full lips of hers. Bruised though they may be, they conveyed it all.
She knew what he feared.
Kurt covered his mouth with one hand and rose quickly. Her hand touched his wrist.
“Y’know it’s okay. We’re all here,” she said. Cocky and friendly at the same time. “We’re here this time.”
Kurt leaned his head forward with a nod. “Thank you.”
“C’mere,” she ordered, waving him closer. She scooted over and patted the bed beside her.
“I have chores to get to,” Kurt objected half-heartedly.
He’d really rather just go pick up his daughter and spend the day curled up in bed with her and Blaine, but that wasn’t an option today. Blaine had been recruited to go scouting, and Kurt hadn’t seen him since yesterday. So while Kurt had felt a little run down for the past two days, it had just been this morning when he’d started feeling...
Well, who knew how old those condoms had been.
He lay next to Santana on his good side and yawned, resting his cheek on his palm. Santana waved some chocolate near his mouth, but Kurt wrinkled his nose and pulled the covers over his face.
“Poor baby,” she murmured.
“Ugh.”
Santana began to hum to herself, then her arm curled around him. Her voice lifted, weakly, and slowly, to sing,”When you’re falling behind, we will carry you. You should know that you’re not alone. Take my heart and we will find, we will find our way home.”
***
Mike ducked behind a car, waited a beat, and bit by bit, made his way to the alley. The only sounds were the occasional groan and the shuffle of shoe rubber against pavement. In the alleyway, he met Blaine’s eye and nodded before taking the lead once again and scrambling right up the chain fence.
They’d been scouting the area for the past week, going on short, careful runs, just in case their creepy intruder had anyone worth saving close by. Mike had mixed feelings about being out here at all, though. If there was a possibility that they could bring in more people, ones who would increase their numbers and strengthen their community, he might be down with that. But Kurt still held his side whenever he moved wrong thanks to his injuries from that bastard. Santana hadn’t left their house, and Brittany would never be the same. That was obvious. She was someone else now, and coping with the abrupt changes as best she could. So Mike wasn’t about doing anything that would do the belated asshole any favors.
Add that in with the idiot who had shot Juni, and Mike wasn’t sure that he wanted to risk anything for the other people out there. Not to mention the horror stories Kurt, Blaine, Carol, and Rafe told around dinner. Just awful stuff, about people they’d met down in America before they’d reached the border. Sure, Kurt and Rafe made them sound funny, but the reality was that these people weren’t to be trusted. They stole your ride, tried to rape your loved ones, threw you in front of walkers or bombed the crap out of a building you were still in, leaving you pinned and trapped, waiting for the undead to come and eat you alive, with no escape. Whatever else they could do to survive, they would, because they didn’t care. They just didn’t care about people anymore.
Then... well. There was Forest and Saffire. That story had been sweet but very painful. He could see the mist in Blaine’s eyes when they’d told that one. It was the story where Blaine had been the crazy, dangerous stranger.
“Where have you been?” Van rose from where she’d been crouched down with a duffle bag.
Brittany skirted around to the boys and jerked her head in the direction of the car. No more words were exchanged until they were on the road.
“We didn’t see anyone. Anyone alive,” Brittany said.
Blaine slumped back in his seat and started to look through his bag. “We didn’t either.”
“Got some more supplies. I don’t know how much more gas we can afford to waste on this,” Mike muttered.
“We’ll bring it up at the next meeting,” Blaine said. “I don’t think the group is willing to lose anyone else.” He paused and looked at the others. “Okay, so... don’t judge me...”
Van turned around from where she was on guard at the back window of the car. “Considering what we were just doing, I almost don’t want you to finish that sentence.”
Mike chuckled at the look on Blaine’s face, reflected in the rear view mirror.
“Oh! You mean sex with walker bodies!” Brittany clapped her hands.
“Sick! You guys spent too much time out here. Anyway, that’s not it.” Blaine looked into the bag again. “I may have done a little, uh, ‘shopping’.”
“Oh.” Van repositioned herself, gun in hand. “We do that all the time.”
“Good. I grabbed some bling for Santana and I wasn’t sure if it was looting,” Brittany admitted.
“Just don’t put yourself at risk. Everything’s legal, as long as you come back,” Mike said. “Kurt would kill me if I lost you.”
“Hm.” Blaine smiled goofily. “I got it for him. It’s our anniversary. Of, y’know, getting together. It’s been a year.”
“Wow. Really?” Brittany lolled her head back on the seat and tapped the window. “It’s hard to think back to then. It feels like things have been like this forever.”
“Yeah.” Blaine breathed in deeply. “Everything’s changed. Everything but us. Well, obviously, we can both handle ourselves in a fight now, and there’s that thing where we have a baby, but I mean... We still have each other to lean on. As a grounding point in our lives.”
The others were quiet for a long moment, and Mike smiled to himself, thinking about how lucky he’d been that Tina had made it until they’d had a moment to train her with a gun. Or that his mother had made it this far. He wouldn’t have kept it together without them by his side.
“Speed it up, Mike. We’ve got stragglers,” Van warned.
Mike turned his head quickly to look. “Dammit. We’re gonna have to take them out, if we can. We cannot lead them back to the others.”
Blaine shoved the bag onto the seat beside him and loaded an arrow into the crossbow they’d brought with them. “Open up the sunroof.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. We’ll lose some arrows, but there are only about three or-” Blaine looked quickly. “Okay. They’re moving slow, but there are eight out there. Stop the car, and let’s take care of this.”
“We could just leave them. They’re really slow,” Brittany pointed out.
“No.”
Mike raised a brow. Blaine’s voice had deepened.
“Look, they aren’t moving fast now, but it doesn’t matter. They rely on smell and sound and they like to clump together in packs, when they can. If we leave these ones, others will join them, and the next time we see them, they’ll be up against our wall. Enough of them together and they’ll be able to knock it down, or trap us there.”
Mike stopped the car, pulled out his knife, and followed Blaine into the cold. Before Mike could stop her, Brittany practically bounced out in front of them and kicked a walker clean in the head. It fell back, reaching for her as it slammed into the ground, its body cracking.
She brought her knife down into its skull with two hands.
Mike was frozen for only a minute when he heard the crossbow firing, and he ran over to take care of strays. They had enough trouble with the living ones. They weren’t going to let these things into their camp.
***
Kurt rubbed his arms as he headed across the town to where his father was staying. He might sleep over that night, if Blaine didn’t come back soon. Right now, he really didn’t want to spend the night alone until Finn came back from his shift on the wall.
As he approached the door, Kurt heard Carol and his father talking quickly, nervously.
“Didn’t mean anything-”
“No, no, it’s okay,” Burt said. “I was... Y’know, I was leanin’, too. I just...”
“I understand. It’s fine.”
“No. It’s not. It’s never gonna be.”
Kurt leaned into the wooden doorframe and heard his father’s deep sigh.
“It’s not that I don’t care about you, Carol. And your son... He and Kurt are practically kin, already. But I just can’t.” He laughed bitterly. “I can’t look at you, and not see her. And I know we should be taking every damn moment we’ve got out here, but...”
There was silence.
Finally, Carol said, “Well, I’m here. And you’re probably the most stable man I’ve kissed in my life. So when you’re ready, if you ever are...” She paused, maybe shrugging. Maybe looking away because it pained her. “Let me know?”
Burt sighed again. “Y’mean a lot to me, Carol.”
“I have her name. I know can’t replace her.”
“Her. Lizzie. I never thought I’d out live ‘em both. Goddamn it. They were the strong ones.”
Kurt stepped over to the window to see Carol rubbing her hand over the center of Burt’s back.
“It’s too soon,” Carol said quietly. “Too soon since losing her.”
Burt nodded. She took off his cap, kissed his head, hugged him, and left without another word. Kurt held off for a moment before opening the door and giving his father a wave.
“Hey, dad.”
“Hey.” Burt let out a long breath and rubbed his fingers over his lips. “The Peanut’s asleep.”
Kurt nodded, crossing his arms and pressing his lips together. He swallowed and drew the cold air in through his nostrils.
“You okay? Y’look peaked.”
“I’m fine.”
He went over to his dad and sat by him. After a moment, Burt put his arm around Kurt, and Kurt let his head rest on his father’s shoulder.
“Kurt. Are you happy?” Burt followed his serious question with a bitter laugh. “You don’t gotta answer that. Dumb question.”
Kurt bit his lip and weighed his father’s words. “Compared to what? I’m luckier than most have been. Most of our group, even. I have my daughter, and my fiancé, and my brother, and you. I have my dad-”
His voice cracked and he wrapped his arms around his father so tight. Burt held him in return.
“This isn’t-” Burt’s voice caught. “This isn’t exactly the life I wanted for you. Things were goin’ better. We had a family. And you were gettin’ better. Weren’t you? I could see it when you were slipping away before, but then you pulled yourself back. By force of freakin’ will.”
He laughed again. “Should’a known you’d be a fighter. Like your mom.”
“No one pushes the Hummels around,” Kurt vowed. “Dead or alive.”
“That’s my boy.”
Kurt took his father’s and and squeezed it. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, y’know. I’m right here. We put our family together, and it got a little broken. And we put it back together again with Carole and Finn’s help. Now, I am absolutely sure that Carole wouldn’t want us to give up. She’d want us to fight to hold onto what we have. We have a lot, here.”
“And a lot to lose.
“And... a lot to lose,” Kurt acknowledged.
The corners of Burt’s mouth deepened. He sat up straighter and mussed Kurt’s hair. “Better hold down the fort, then.”
“I know you’re scared to lose more of the people you love.” Kurt held his fingers and looked down. “And I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that you don’t have to grieve for anyone else.”
“Kinda feel like I should be the one giving you a pep-talk.” He sat up straighter and mussed Kurt’s hair.
“Eh.” Kurt crooked his mouth to the side and shrugged. “You’ve done it for me. Where would our little Peanut be without her grandpa to deal with her crazy daddies?”
“I don’t wanna think about that,” Burt said.
Kurt crossed his arms and pursed his lips. “I’m trying to do that thing we do with the inappropriate jokes.”
That caused Burt to laugh. Kurt smoothed his palm over his cheek, feeling warm as his stomach started to roll again. He patted his father’s knee and rose to hit the bathroom before he had to run, giving himself away. He needed to pull himself together so he could feed Pippa when she woke.
When he returned, Burt stood and tilted his head as he looked at Kurt. “Fiancé?”
***
The house was quiet. Even more than their first days founding the little town, Blaine was anxious in the silent, chilled air. Between the attacker that had been in their home and spending the past day and a half slipping between the blind spots of creeping, crawling walkers, his nerves kept jumping and alerting him. They kept trying to tell him there was something there, waiting.
He took a breath and called out for his partner.
As it happened, someone was waiting, curled up on his side on the sofa, a blanket around him while Pippa lay in her pen right beside him. Wiggling around on her belly, she let out a squeal and pushed herself up to look at him. Lowering herself again, she cooed and waved her arms. A smile touched Blaine’s lips and he went over to pick her up. He loved that she knew him now. Knew his voice and if he was close, touched his face and smiled at him like he was the world.
There was a tip of a baseball bat peeking out of the blanket. Kurt, adorably protecting his daughter, even in his exhaustion.
Knowing better than to startling a daddy with a weapon, Blaine snuggled Pippa to his chest and leaned back into a chair with her to rub her back. “Is daddy taking a nap? Hm? I bet he worked hard today.”
Blaine closed his eyes for a few minutes, listening to the gurgly noises from Pippa and Kurt’s heavy breathing, then he looked back over at him with a frown. His lips were almost white, but his cheeks were flushed red. Blaine wondered if his sleeping beauty needed a kiss to wake... or CPR.
“Unn...” Kurt bolted up and disappeared over the side of the sofa. Then the sound of retching came from the bathroom.
Blaine’s nerves prickled all over his skin. His heart was pounding so hard that a little warning whine came from Pippa. Soon she’d be wailing so loudly that they’d hear it all over town.
“Shhh...” Blaine urged.
Unsuccessfully. Kurt reappeared a moment later, looking worn and pale and wiping a hand over his mouth as he looked around frantically for his baby.
“Oh! I didn’t know you were home, honey.” Kurt came over to take her from Blaine. “I fed her before I put her down... Uh, oh...”
Kurt started to sway, and Blaine moved quickly to put his arms around Kurt and hold him steady. “What’s going on?”
“I’m not sure,” Kurt murmured with a forced smile.
“But you have a guess? C’mon, let me take care of Pip. You rest.”
Blaine took the baby again and watched Kurt sink back into the sofa. He frowned, watching Kurt for a moment, then kissed Pippa’s head and took her into the bedroom to check her diaper and change her clothes. When Blaine brought Pippa back into the living room, he saw that Kurt had moved into the kitchen and was leaning over the sink. Blaine drew closer to him and kissed the back of his neck.
“What are you doing? I told you I’d take care of things.”
“It’s dark out. I should have made dinner by now.”
“Well, I can do that. Doesn’t everyone love my bread?”
“Bread isn’t dinner. And you just got back from...” Kurt shook his head and pressed a hand against his forehead.
“I don’t feel as tired as you look. Look at me.”
Kurt lifted his head and touched his fingertip to Blaine’s cheek, as he looked into his eyes. “We might have a problem.”
“Is anyone dying?”
Kurt tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. “No. Not yet anyway.”
Blaine shrugged and jerked his head toward the bedroom. “Then it’ll keep. Go lay down with Pippa. Okay? I’ll make dinner, and I won’t even set anything on fire. Unless a walker wanders into the house. Look, we don’t have to adhere to strict gender roles. We never have. And you’ve carried me often enough that I can cook a little after a run. Van’s visiting Finn on the wall, so we’ll be alone for an hour to two, until she comes back.”
Kurt seemed to weigh Blaine’s words. He nuzzled his nose against Blaine’s, then took Pippa again and pressed his finger to her lips. She suckled contentedly. He turned and walked out of the kitchen.
Blaine wasn’t sure what to make of Kurt’s behavior, looking so tired, throwing up...
Oh. Oh, Kurt.
Blaine took a deep breath, then began to look through their canned goods. Kurt would want something mild, obviously. Blaine could get dinner going for the others and send it out with the bread he’d made before he’d left, then he could be by Kurt’s side. Kurt would feel at least a little better when they’d had a chance to talk.
***
When Blaine came into the bedroom with a tray, Kurt was rubbing Pippa’s back devotedly. He leaned over to the crib to lay her down and smiled at her with a sigh.
Blaine set the tray down and moved to pull Kurt into bed.
“Funny, this is how I started the day,” Kurt muttered.
Blaine wrapped his arm around Kurt’s shoulders and kissed his forehead. His other hand moved over Kurt’s stomach. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”
Kurt looked up at Blaine and met his eye. “I don’t know... for sure.”
“But, you think...”
“I think I might be? I can’t keep anything down. My head is splitting.” Kurt shook his head and just went limp in Blaine’s arms. “How stupid am I? Now? Now that I know exactly what could happen...”
“Well, you’re hardly the only one to blame.” Blaine smiled softly and rubbed Kurt’s stomach in a circle.
“I can’t. Honey, I can’t. Not right now. I have to be there for Pippa. For you, for my family. I can’t do this again.” Kurt’s voice broke, full of emotion. “I can’t burden the whole group like this. We have too much to lose.”
Blaine closed his eyes. He could feel it. Exactly what Kurt felt right now. How terrifying it would be to have another child right now, and how very much he hated the idea of being forced out of a choice, once again. Maybe in another time, another place... But would they ever have enough security for the time for the risk to be worth it?
Raising his hand, Blaine cupped Kurt’s cheek and trailed his fingers over his sweat-drenched hair. The warmth at his brow, in his cheek... Blaine kissed Kurt’s cheek, then his boiling forehead. Blaine wasn’t sure if he was relieved or even more scared.
“Babe.” Blaine kissed his cheek again. “You’re really warm. I think you might just be sick.”
“Sick.” Kurt blinked as though he’d heard about the walking dead for the first time. “Oh. I uh... Maybe?”
His speech even seemed a little off. Blaine held him close and petted his hair, then moved the tray closer. “Try some soup. When Van or Finn gets back, I’ll send them to get Mama Chang. If you’re sick, others probably are, too.”
Blaine dipped the spoon into the soup, getting some soft vegetables and rice and blew on it.
“I’m sorry,” Kurt murmured. “God. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. I totally understand. I might have even come to the same conclusion.” His fingers raked through Kurt’s hair. “But what I want? I want to have more kids with you. I’m head over heels with the idea of domesticity and a boringly safe life. But I want it to be our choice when it happens. Not forced into it, or out of it. Until then...”
Kurt closed his eyes and touched his cheek. A soft sob rose from his chest.
“I love you.”
Blaine held the soup to Kurt’s lips. Kurt’s nose wrinkled, but he opened his mouth. Several spoonfuls later, and Kurt turned his head and put his hand over his stomach. Blaine placed his hand over Kurt’s hot forehead and leaned over to rest his own against Kurt’s hair.
***
If being assaulted weren’t bad enough, catching the flu, a common flu, was insult to injury. Kurt was the first, and Santana was the second, and others followed after, but Mama Chang quickly quarantined off anyone who was ill. Guiltily, Kurt wondered if their intruder had made Santana sick or if Kurt had himself by going to tend to her. Any efforts to search for other survivors were shut down, maybe permanently, and Kurt kept to his house, seeing only his family in short bursts. Finn and Van wore masks around the house, but refused to completely abandon Kurt, especially when he needed help with Pippa.
Although he was miserable for the next few days, there was also relief, and more guilt for having overreacted to what he’d assumed was wrong with him. His thoughts couldn’t focus on that, though, while his fever rose. There were times when he woke to find Pippa nursing, and he knew that Blaine had put here there while he slept, thanks to Mama Chang’s reassurance that it was safe and good for her to continue and benefit from Kurt’s antibodies.
Kurt wasn’t sure how many days he’d been down, but when he woke and no one was around, he blinked groggily and pushed himself up. His head was still a little spinny, and he was just... wet. Drenched, all over. Yuck. He moved one leg, then the other over the side of the bed, and wobbled to his feet. Hopefully he could make it to the bathroom without collapsing.
When he came out, Blaine had returned, and came to his side immediately.
“You’re gonna get sick, too, y’know,” Kurt muttered.
“I haven’t yet.” He slipped his arm under Kurt’s and gave him one of his handsome, adoring smiles.
“It took awhile for me to start showing symptoms.” Kurt pressed his face into Blaine’s shoulder, and Blaine’s hand rubbed over his back.
“I have something for you. I wanted to give it to you when I got back, but you were too sick. You probably are now, but I can at least show it to you, is that okay? Or do you want to go lay down?”
Kurt shook his head stubbornly. “No! No, I don’t want to be trapped in that bed any longer.”
“C’mon.” Blaine lead him into the kitchen, slowly and carefully. “How’s your stomach?”
“Empty and queasy. It’s no wonder I thought I was pregnant.”
Blaine chuckled and kissed his temple. “It’s um...”
“What?” Kurt looked around the kitchen and saw a box on the table. There was no wrapping, but it looked like Brittany and Saffire had colored it with stars and rainbows. “You got me a present?”
“It’s our anniversary. Well, it was two days ago, but you were still pretty out of it.” Blaine helped him into a chair. “Open it?”
Kurt looked up at him, cupped his cheek with his hand, and mimed a kiss for him. Blaine mimed it back and pushed the box closer. Setting his hands on both sides, Kurt lifted the lid carefully and peered inside.
“Oh. Oh!”
The lid dropped and he pulled out the shiny French press coffeemaker. They hadn’t drunk coffee in months. The metal was cool to the touch, and Kurt’s heart fluttered as he remembered all the hours and dollars they’d spent at that coffee shop in Westerville where they could go grab a cup before or after classes at Dalton. He remembered how they took turns humbugging Valentine’s Day in that shop, and how Blaine had so often insisted on paying and trying to get Kurt to split cookies with him. He remembered how the baristas had started watching them when they came in, only to find out later that their budding romance and fights were a key part of their entertainment. Local LOGO network programing. He remember meeting with his friends Mercedes and Rachel there, with Blaine by his side, to discuss the seemingly tragic drama of the football team. Friends who he would only see now in memories.
“Oh, honey.” Hot tears spilled down his cheeks.
“No! Oh, no, don’t cry!” Blaine crouched down and wrapped his arms around him.
“I’m just...” Kurt looked at Blaine and forced a smile. “We have so many memories around coffee, don’t we? Thank you. So many good memories, and so much joy. Thank you for giving me these memories.”
Blaine kissed his cheek, hard, and hugged him. Kurt rested his chin on Blaine’s shoulder, breathing in and out, taking in Blaine’s smell and the feel of his curly hair against his cheek. He still felt raw and strung out from the fever which he now suspected had broken while he slept, but he also felt luckier than ever.
The anniversary gift was just a symbol of all the things he was determined to keep and would hold onto tighter than ever.
Title: Scare
Pairing: Klaine
Word Count: ~5311
Summary: Daily life continues as Kurt makes the rounds around town and Blaine goes out with the scouts to see if there are any survivors, but Kurt has something heavy weighing on his mind.
AN: This is the song sung in the story: http://youtu.be/6aaRR3AW4FU
I should be doing so many other things.
In. Out. The air was pulled and pushed in and out of his lungs by sheer force of will. Kurt held his back pin straight, and in his trembling hands, a tray of food he was trying to ignore. A bowl of soup, hearty bread (made by his darling fiancé before he’d headed out that morning), canned fruit, and a few pieces of chocolate that Van had looted and been hoarding for a special occasion.
He swallowed, pushing back the familiar burning sensation at his throat and the rolling of his stomach, accompanied by a tightening chest and slick palms. It defied reason that he could sweat in this weather. He scaled the steps into Brittany and Santana’s house.
The new bedroom where they’d put Santana was a mess. Unsurprising, since Brittany was the only one up and around. Kurt scanned over the room, then narrowed his eyes. Santana was probably in the bed, but if so, she was hidden amongst the blankets. He drew closer and set the tray on the nightstand before turning to lift each layer slowly, slowly.
“Santana? I have-”
“I heard you come in,” she snapped. Her voice was raspier than usual, but that she could speak at all was a good sign. Also good was that she had enough fight in her to be annoyed at being awakened.
He ignored her tone. “I brought you something to eat.”
“Is Britt back?”
“No, but I’ll let you know when she is. Why don’t you try it? She’ll be happy to know you ate.” Kurt threw back the blanket Santana was hiding under and received a glare of death. He smirked at her, then turned back to the tray.
“You look like a walker. What’s wrong with you?” She pushed herself up carefully.
“A walker!” Kurt curled his lips back, then rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you shut up? Doctor’s orders.”
“Seriously. You’re paler than I’ve ever seen you, and that’s saying something, because you were always a pretty little cracker.” Santana stopped and leaned back against the pillows. The pith had slowly oozed out of her voice until her final words weakened and wobbled and sounded almost concerned.
“Blaine made you some bread before he left.” Kurt leaned over and put the spoon in the soup. “Swallow what you can?”
Santana tried a mouthful of soup. She winced a little as she ate. “How hard is the bread?” she asked, her voice now almost a whisper.
“Let’s dip it in the broth, hm? That should make it soft enough. And there’s some choc-” Kurt shut his mouth tightly and turned his head as he felt his insides starting to rebel. How he’d manage to finish making this soup was itself a miracle.
“What?”
“Nothing. Just... One minute.” Kurt’s voice sounded stupidly high and breathy and cheerful to himself, but he didn’t look back. He just shot up and walked quickly out of the bedroom.
He made it as far as the trashcan in the living room before he started to heave.
After what seemed like a long time, he let himself stumble to the floor, draped himself against the sofa and pressed a hand across his stomach. His eyes fell closed.
No. Please, no. He mouthed the words like a prayer. Please, no. Not now.
“Hey.”
Kurt looked up to see Santana standing over him, her arms hugging over herself and her expression weirdly open and vulnerable. She looked like she might fall any moment.
“Sorry.” He pushed himself up. “Did you need something?”
“No. I just heard... So, you’re not okay. What is it?”
“It’s nothing. Don’t worry.” Kurt wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led back to the bedroom.
“You need to brush your teeth.”
“So do you,” Kurt replied dryly.
“Want some of my chocolate?” she offered.
Kurt raised his brows. “I must really look terrible.”
Santana looked up at him as he helped her back into bed, her eyebrows knit with a strange mix of suspicion and worry. “He hurt you too, right?”
“Not that bad.”
“But he tried.”
“I ran into him in the hallway. He was surprised. Dropped what he’d stolen and panicked.” Kurt sat on the edge of the bed and arranged her pillows. “Maybe he would have tried something if he’d had the chance, but he didn’t have much of one before Blaine came at him...”
She laid her head back and watched him for another moment. Then her eyes grew wider. “Ohh.”
“I don’t know what you’re Oh-ing about.” Kurt moved the tray closer to her. “Try to eat some more. I’ll get the tray when you’re done, okay?”
“Maybe you should lie down, too.” And with that, she was Santana again. Smirking away with those full lips of hers. Bruised though they may be, they conveyed it all.
She knew what he feared.
Kurt covered his mouth with one hand and rose quickly. Her hand touched his wrist.
“Y’know it’s okay. We’re all here,” she said. Cocky and friendly at the same time. “We’re here this time.”
Kurt leaned his head forward with a nod. “Thank you.”
“C’mere,” she ordered, waving him closer. She scooted over and patted the bed beside her.
“I have chores to get to,” Kurt objected half-heartedly.
He’d really rather just go pick up his daughter and spend the day curled up in bed with her and Blaine, but that wasn’t an option today. Blaine had been recruited to go scouting, and Kurt hadn’t seen him since yesterday. So while Kurt had felt a little run down for the past two days, it had just been this morning when he’d started feeling...
Well, who knew how old those condoms had been.
He lay next to Santana on his good side and yawned, resting his cheek on his palm. Santana waved some chocolate near his mouth, but Kurt wrinkled his nose and pulled the covers over his face.
“Poor baby,” she murmured.
“Ugh.”
Santana began to hum to herself, then her arm curled around him. Her voice lifted, weakly, and slowly, to sing,”When you’re falling behind, we will carry you. You should know that you’re not alone. Take my heart and we will find, we will find our way home.”
Mike ducked behind a car, waited a beat, and bit by bit, made his way to the alley. The only sounds were the occasional groan and the shuffle of shoe rubber against pavement. In the alleyway, he met Blaine’s eye and nodded before taking the lead once again and scrambling right up the chain fence.
They’d been scouting the area for the past week, going on short, careful runs, just in case their creepy intruder had anyone worth saving close by. Mike had mixed feelings about being out here at all, though. If there was a possibility that they could bring in more people, ones who would increase their numbers and strengthen their community, he might be down with that. But Kurt still held his side whenever he moved wrong thanks to his injuries from that bastard. Santana hadn’t left their house, and Brittany would never be the same. That was obvious. She was someone else now, and coping with the abrupt changes as best she could. So Mike wasn’t about doing anything that would do the belated asshole any favors.
Add that in with the idiot who had shot Juni, and Mike wasn’t sure that he wanted to risk anything for the other people out there. Not to mention the horror stories Kurt, Blaine, Carol, and Rafe told around dinner. Just awful stuff, about people they’d met down in America before they’d reached the border. Sure, Kurt and Rafe made them sound funny, but the reality was that these people weren’t to be trusted. They stole your ride, tried to rape your loved ones, threw you in front of walkers or bombed the crap out of a building you were still in, leaving you pinned and trapped, waiting for the undead to come and eat you alive, with no escape. Whatever else they could do to survive, they would, because they didn’t care. They just didn’t care about people anymore.
Then... well. There was Forest and Saffire. That story had been sweet but very painful. He could see the mist in Blaine’s eyes when they’d told that one. It was the story where Blaine had been the crazy, dangerous stranger.
“Where have you been?” Van rose from where she’d been crouched down with a duffle bag.
Brittany skirted around to the boys and jerked her head in the direction of the car. No more words were exchanged until they were on the road.
“We didn’t see anyone. Anyone alive,” Brittany said.
Blaine slumped back in his seat and started to look through his bag. “We didn’t either.”
“Got some more supplies. I don’t know how much more gas we can afford to waste on this,” Mike muttered.
“We’ll bring it up at the next meeting,” Blaine said. “I don’t think the group is willing to lose anyone else.” He paused and looked at the others. “Okay, so... don’t judge me...”
Van turned around from where she was on guard at the back window of the car. “Considering what we were just doing, I almost don’t want you to finish that sentence.”
Mike chuckled at the look on Blaine’s face, reflected in the rear view mirror.
“Oh! You mean sex with walker bodies!” Brittany clapped her hands.
“Sick! You guys spent too much time out here. Anyway, that’s not it.” Blaine looked into the bag again. “I may have done a little, uh, ‘shopping’.”
“Oh.” Van repositioned herself, gun in hand. “We do that all the time.”
“Good. I grabbed some bling for Santana and I wasn’t sure if it was looting,” Brittany admitted.
“Just don’t put yourself at risk. Everything’s legal, as long as you come back,” Mike said. “Kurt would kill me if I lost you.”
“Hm.” Blaine smiled goofily. “I got it for him. It’s our anniversary. Of, y’know, getting together. It’s been a year.”
“Wow. Really?” Brittany lolled her head back on the seat and tapped the window. “It’s hard to think back to then. It feels like things have been like this forever.”
“Yeah.” Blaine breathed in deeply. “Everything’s changed. Everything but us. Well, obviously, we can both handle ourselves in a fight now, and there’s that thing where we have a baby, but I mean... We still have each other to lean on. As a grounding point in our lives.”
The others were quiet for a long moment, and Mike smiled to himself, thinking about how lucky he’d been that Tina had made it until they’d had a moment to train her with a gun. Or that his mother had made it this far. He wouldn’t have kept it together without them by his side.
“Speed it up, Mike. We’ve got stragglers,” Van warned.
Mike turned his head quickly to look. “Dammit. We’re gonna have to take them out, if we can. We cannot lead them back to the others.”
Blaine shoved the bag onto the seat beside him and loaded an arrow into the crossbow they’d brought with them. “Open up the sunroof.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. We’ll lose some arrows, but there are only about three or-” Blaine looked quickly. “Okay. They’re moving slow, but there are eight out there. Stop the car, and let’s take care of this.”
“We could just leave them. They’re really slow,” Brittany pointed out.
“No.”
Mike raised a brow. Blaine’s voice had deepened.
“Look, they aren’t moving fast now, but it doesn’t matter. They rely on smell and sound and they like to clump together in packs, when they can. If we leave these ones, others will join them, and the next time we see them, they’ll be up against our wall. Enough of them together and they’ll be able to knock it down, or trap us there.”
Mike stopped the car, pulled out his knife, and followed Blaine into the cold. Before Mike could stop her, Brittany practically bounced out in front of them and kicked a walker clean in the head. It fell back, reaching for her as it slammed into the ground, its body cracking.
She brought her knife down into its skull with two hands.
Mike was frozen for only a minute when he heard the crossbow firing, and he ran over to take care of strays. They had enough trouble with the living ones. They weren’t going to let these things into their camp.
Kurt rubbed his arms as he headed across the town to where his father was staying. He might sleep over that night, if Blaine didn’t come back soon. Right now, he really didn’t want to spend the night alone until Finn came back from his shift on the wall.
As he approached the door, Kurt heard Carol and his father talking quickly, nervously.
“Didn’t mean anything-”
“No, no, it’s okay,” Burt said. “I was... Y’know, I was leanin’, too. I just...”
“I understand. It’s fine.”
“No. It’s not. It’s never gonna be.”
Kurt leaned into the wooden doorframe and heard his father’s deep sigh.
“It’s not that I don’t care about you, Carol. And your son... He and Kurt are practically kin, already. But I just can’t.” He laughed bitterly. “I can’t look at you, and not see her. And I know we should be taking every damn moment we’ve got out here, but...”
There was silence.
Finally, Carol said, “Well, I’m here. And you’re probably the most stable man I’ve kissed in my life. So when you’re ready, if you ever are...” She paused, maybe shrugging. Maybe looking away because it pained her. “Let me know?”
Burt sighed again. “Y’mean a lot to me, Carol.”
“I have her name. I know can’t replace her.”
“Her. Lizzie. I never thought I’d out live ‘em both. Goddamn it. They were the strong ones.”
Kurt stepped over to the window to see Carol rubbing her hand over the center of Burt’s back.
“It’s too soon,” Carol said quietly. “Too soon since losing her.”
Burt nodded. She took off his cap, kissed his head, hugged him, and left without another word. Kurt held off for a moment before opening the door and giving his father a wave.
“Hey, dad.”
“Hey.” Burt let out a long breath and rubbed his fingers over his lips. “The Peanut’s asleep.”
Kurt nodded, crossing his arms and pressing his lips together. He swallowed and drew the cold air in through his nostrils.
“You okay? Y’look peaked.”
“I’m fine.”
He went over to his dad and sat by him. After a moment, Burt put his arm around Kurt, and Kurt let his head rest on his father’s shoulder.
“Kurt. Are you happy?” Burt followed his serious question with a bitter laugh. “You don’t gotta answer that. Dumb question.”
Kurt bit his lip and weighed his father’s words. “Compared to what? I’m luckier than most have been. Most of our group, even. I have my daughter, and my fiancé, and my brother, and you. I have my dad-”
His voice cracked and he wrapped his arms around his father so tight. Burt held him in return.
“This isn’t-” Burt’s voice caught. “This isn’t exactly the life I wanted for you. Things were goin’ better. We had a family. And you were gettin’ better. Weren’t you? I could see it when you were slipping away before, but then you pulled yourself back. By force of freakin’ will.”
He laughed again. “Should’a known you’d be a fighter. Like your mom.”
“No one pushes the Hummels around,” Kurt vowed. “Dead or alive.”
“That’s my boy.”
Kurt took his father’s and and squeezed it. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, y’know. I’m right here. We put our family together, and it got a little broken. And we put it back together again with Carole and Finn’s help. Now, I am absolutely sure that Carole wouldn’t want us to give up. She’d want us to fight to hold onto what we have. We have a lot, here.”
“And a lot to lose.
“And... a lot to lose,” Kurt acknowledged.
The corners of Burt’s mouth deepened. He sat up straighter and mussed Kurt’s hair. “Better hold down the fort, then.”
“I know you’re scared to lose more of the people you love.” Kurt held his fingers and looked down. “And I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that you don’t have to grieve for anyone else.”
“Kinda feel like I should be the one giving you a pep-talk.” He sat up straighter and mussed Kurt’s hair.
“Eh.” Kurt crooked his mouth to the side and shrugged. “You’ve done it for me. Where would our little Peanut be without her grandpa to deal with her crazy daddies?”
“I don’t wanna think about that,” Burt said.
Kurt crossed his arms and pursed his lips. “I’m trying to do that thing we do with the inappropriate jokes.”
That caused Burt to laugh. Kurt smoothed his palm over his cheek, feeling warm as his stomach started to roll again. He patted his father’s knee and rose to hit the bathroom before he had to run, giving himself away. He needed to pull himself together so he could feed Pippa when she woke.
When he returned, Burt stood and tilted his head as he looked at Kurt. “Fiancé?”
The house was quiet. Even more than their first days founding the little town, Blaine was anxious in the silent, chilled air. Between the attacker that had been in their home and spending the past day and a half slipping between the blind spots of creeping, crawling walkers, his nerves kept jumping and alerting him. They kept trying to tell him there was something there, waiting.
He took a breath and called out for his partner.
As it happened, someone was waiting, curled up on his side on the sofa, a blanket around him while Pippa lay in her pen right beside him. Wiggling around on her belly, she let out a squeal and pushed herself up to look at him. Lowering herself again, she cooed and waved her arms. A smile touched Blaine’s lips and he went over to pick her up. He loved that she knew him now. Knew his voice and if he was close, touched his face and smiled at him like he was the world.
There was a tip of a baseball bat peeking out of the blanket. Kurt, adorably protecting his daughter, even in his exhaustion.
Knowing better than to startling a daddy with a weapon, Blaine snuggled Pippa to his chest and leaned back into a chair with her to rub her back. “Is daddy taking a nap? Hm? I bet he worked hard today.”
Blaine closed his eyes for a few minutes, listening to the gurgly noises from Pippa and Kurt’s heavy breathing, then he looked back over at him with a frown. His lips were almost white, but his cheeks were flushed red. Blaine wondered if his sleeping beauty needed a kiss to wake... or CPR.
“Unn...” Kurt bolted up and disappeared over the side of the sofa. Then the sound of retching came from the bathroom.
Blaine’s nerves prickled all over his skin. His heart was pounding so hard that a little warning whine came from Pippa. Soon she’d be wailing so loudly that they’d hear it all over town.
“Shhh...” Blaine urged.
Unsuccessfully. Kurt reappeared a moment later, looking worn and pale and wiping a hand over his mouth as he looked around frantically for his baby.
“Oh! I didn’t know you were home, honey.” Kurt came over to take her from Blaine. “I fed her before I put her down... Uh, oh...”
Kurt started to sway, and Blaine moved quickly to put his arms around Kurt and hold him steady. “What’s going on?”
“I’m not sure,” Kurt murmured with a forced smile.
“But you have a guess? C’mon, let me take care of Pip. You rest.”
Blaine took the baby again and watched Kurt sink back into the sofa. He frowned, watching Kurt for a moment, then kissed Pippa’s head and took her into the bedroom to check her diaper and change her clothes. When Blaine brought Pippa back into the living room, he saw that Kurt had moved into the kitchen and was leaning over the sink. Blaine drew closer to him and kissed the back of his neck.
“What are you doing? I told you I’d take care of things.”
“It’s dark out. I should have made dinner by now.”
“Well, I can do that. Doesn’t everyone love my bread?”
“Bread isn’t dinner. And you just got back from...” Kurt shook his head and pressed a hand against his forehead.
“I don’t feel as tired as you look. Look at me.”
Kurt lifted his head and touched his fingertip to Blaine’s cheek, as he looked into his eyes. “We might have a problem.”
“Is anyone dying?”
Kurt tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. “No. Not yet anyway.”
Blaine shrugged and jerked his head toward the bedroom. “Then it’ll keep. Go lay down with Pippa. Okay? I’ll make dinner, and I won’t even set anything on fire. Unless a walker wanders into the house. Look, we don’t have to adhere to strict gender roles. We never have. And you’ve carried me often enough that I can cook a little after a run. Van’s visiting Finn on the wall, so we’ll be alone for an hour to two, until she comes back.”
Kurt seemed to weigh Blaine’s words. He nuzzled his nose against Blaine’s, then took Pippa again and pressed his finger to her lips. She suckled contentedly. He turned and walked out of the kitchen.
Blaine wasn’t sure what to make of Kurt’s behavior, looking so tired, throwing up...
Oh. Oh, Kurt.
Blaine took a deep breath, then began to look through their canned goods. Kurt would want something mild, obviously. Blaine could get dinner going for the others and send it out with the bread he’d made before he’d left, then he could be by Kurt’s side. Kurt would feel at least a little better when they’d had a chance to talk.
When Blaine came into the bedroom with a tray, Kurt was rubbing Pippa’s back devotedly. He leaned over to the crib to lay her down and smiled at her with a sigh.
Blaine set the tray down and moved to pull Kurt into bed.
“Funny, this is how I started the day,” Kurt muttered.
Blaine wrapped his arm around Kurt’s shoulders and kissed his forehead. His other hand moved over Kurt’s stomach. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”
Kurt looked up at Blaine and met his eye. “I don’t know... for sure.”
“But, you think...”
“I think I might be? I can’t keep anything down. My head is splitting.” Kurt shook his head and just went limp in Blaine’s arms. “How stupid am I? Now? Now that I know exactly what could happen...”
“Well, you’re hardly the only one to blame.” Blaine smiled softly and rubbed Kurt’s stomach in a circle.
“I can’t. Honey, I can’t. Not right now. I have to be there for Pippa. For you, for my family. I can’t do this again.” Kurt’s voice broke, full of emotion. “I can’t burden the whole group like this. We have too much to lose.”
Blaine closed his eyes. He could feel it. Exactly what Kurt felt right now. How terrifying it would be to have another child right now, and how very much he hated the idea of being forced out of a choice, once again. Maybe in another time, another place... But would they ever have enough security for the time for the risk to be worth it?
Raising his hand, Blaine cupped Kurt’s cheek and trailed his fingers over his sweat-drenched hair. The warmth at his brow, in his cheek... Blaine kissed Kurt’s cheek, then his boiling forehead. Blaine wasn’t sure if he was relieved or even more scared.
“Babe.” Blaine kissed his cheek again. “You’re really warm. I think you might just be sick.”
“Sick.” Kurt blinked as though he’d heard about the walking dead for the first time. “Oh. I uh... Maybe?”
His speech even seemed a little off. Blaine held him close and petted his hair, then moved the tray closer. “Try some soup. When Van or Finn gets back, I’ll send them to get Mama Chang. If you’re sick, others probably are, too.”
Blaine dipped the spoon into the soup, getting some soft vegetables and rice and blew on it.
“I’m sorry,” Kurt murmured. “God. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. I totally understand. I might have even come to the same conclusion.” His fingers raked through Kurt’s hair. “But what I want? I want to have more kids with you. I’m head over heels with the idea of domesticity and a boringly safe life. But I want it to be our choice when it happens. Not forced into it, or out of it. Until then...”
Kurt closed his eyes and touched his cheek. A soft sob rose from his chest.
“I love you.”
Blaine held the soup to Kurt’s lips. Kurt’s nose wrinkled, but he opened his mouth. Several spoonfuls later, and Kurt turned his head and put his hand over his stomach. Blaine placed his hand over Kurt’s hot forehead and leaned over to rest his own against Kurt’s hair.
If being assaulted weren’t bad enough, catching the flu, a common flu, was insult to injury. Kurt was the first, and Santana was the second, and others followed after, but Mama Chang quickly quarantined off anyone who was ill. Guiltily, Kurt wondered if their intruder had made Santana sick or if Kurt had himself by going to tend to her. Any efforts to search for other survivors were shut down, maybe permanently, and Kurt kept to his house, seeing only his family in short bursts. Finn and Van wore masks around the house, but refused to completely abandon Kurt, especially when he needed help with Pippa.
Although he was miserable for the next few days, there was also relief, and more guilt for having overreacted to what he’d assumed was wrong with him. His thoughts couldn’t focus on that, though, while his fever rose. There were times when he woke to find Pippa nursing, and he knew that Blaine had put here there while he slept, thanks to Mama Chang’s reassurance that it was safe and good for her to continue and benefit from Kurt’s antibodies.
Kurt wasn’t sure how many days he’d been down, but when he woke and no one was around, he blinked groggily and pushed himself up. His head was still a little spinny, and he was just... wet. Drenched, all over. Yuck. He moved one leg, then the other over the side of the bed, and wobbled to his feet. Hopefully he could make it to the bathroom without collapsing.
When he came out, Blaine had returned, and came to his side immediately.
“You’re gonna get sick, too, y’know,” Kurt muttered.
“I haven’t yet.” He slipped his arm under Kurt’s and gave him one of his handsome, adoring smiles.
“It took awhile for me to start showing symptoms.” Kurt pressed his face into Blaine’s shoulder, and Blaine’s hand rubbed over his back.
“I have something for you. I wanted to give it to you when I got back, but you were too sick. You probably are now, but I can at least show it to you, is that okay? Or do you want to go lay down?”
Kurt shook his head stubbornly. “No! No, I don’t want to be trapped in that bed any longer.”
“C’mon.” Blaine lead him into the kitchen, slowly and carefully. “How’s your stomach?”
“Empty and queasy. It’s no wonder I thought I was pregnant.”
Blaine chuckled and kissed his temple. “It’s um...”
“What?” Kurt looked around the kitchen and saw a box on the table. There was no wrapping, but it looked like Brittany and Saffire had colored it with stars and rainbows. “You got me a present?”
“It’s our anniversary. Well, it was two days ago, but you were still pretty out of it.” Blaine helped him into a chair. “Open it?”
Kurt looked up at him, cupped his cheek with his hand, and mimed a kiss for him. Blaine mimed it back and pushed the box closer. Setting his hands on both sides, Kurt lifted the lid carefully and peered inside.
“Oh. Oh!”
The lid dropped and he pulled out the shiny French press coffeemaker. They hadn’t drunk coffee in months. The metal was cool to the touch, and Kurt’s heart fluttered as he remembered all the hours and dollars they’d spent at that coffee shop in Westerville where they could go grab a cup before or after classes at Dalton. He remembered how they took turns humbugging Valentine’s Day in that shop, and how Blaine had so often insisted on paying and trying to get Kurt to split cookies with him. He remembered how the baristas had started watching them when they came in, only to find out later that their budding romance and fights were a key part of their entertainment. Local LOGO network programing. He remember meeting with his friends Mercedes and Rachel there, with Blaine by his side, to discuss the seemingly tragic drama of the football team. Friends who he would only see now in memories.
“Oh, honey.” Hot tears spilled down his cheeks.
“No! Oh, no, don’t cry!” Blaine crouched down and wrapped his arms around him.
“I’m just...” Kurt looked at Blaine and forced a smile. “We have so many memories around coffee, don’t we? Thank you. So many good memories, and so much joy. Thank you for giving me these memories.”
Blaine kissed his cheek, hard, and hugged him. Kurt rested his chin on Blaine’s shoulder, breathing in and out, taking in Blaine’s smell and the feel of his curly hair against his cheek. He still felt raw and strung out from the fever which he now suspected had broken while he slept, but he also felt luckier than ever.
The anniversary gift was just a symbol of all the things he was determined to keep and would hold onto tighter than ever.
