Title: Waiting for Magic (but not like this) 2/3
Pair: Klaine!
Includes: magic, highlight for spoilers: mpreg of a non-main character
Word count: (total) ~17,685, (this part) ~5632
Summary: Blaine is magically transformed. Omigod.
Set after S3 “Big Brother” then goes AU. I didn’t even try to make it match up, though there are some repurposing of the events in “Choke.”
This fic is for my bb,![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
xenachakram12! I'll post the final on Friday so she can have it all by the weekend.
Part One
Part Two
“Hey, what’s this?” Burt reached over to touch Blaine’s head.
Kurt turned from the stove where he was trying to distract himself with gourmet cooking. “I didn’t know you’d be home today.” He tried to keep his voice even, casual. “It’s a baby giraffe. I’m looking after him for Cooper.”
“Giraffes aren’t that small,” Burt said skeptically. “Not even babies.”
“All right then.” Kurt tasted the sauce, frowned, and sprinkled in more freshly grated parmesan cheese. “That’s Blaine. Someone turned him into a miniature giraffe, probably thanks to something illegal or immoral that Cooper did. I’ve been carrying him around in my messenger bag because he doesn’t like to be alone when he’s so small and defenseless, and I think he gets jealous if I’m around around hot guys now that he’s a tiny lap pet.”
Burt snorted. Blaine leaned away from his hand and bleated at Kurt.
“I’m cooking, baby. Give me a minute,” he said, stirring the sauce. “Sorry I implied you were jealous. You’re plenty handsome.”
“Baby? Is that the giraffe’s name?” Burt asked.
“Um, for now. It’s hard to name someone else’s pet.”
“I figured you’d name ‘im Beyoncé. Nice of you to look out for the little guy.” Burt scratched under Blaine’s chin. Looking a little embarrassed, Blaine leaned into the scratch and bleated. His eyes fell halfway closed. “Ha ha! Aw. Look at him. What’ll they think of next?”
Kurt flipped the tuna on the grill pan and drizzled the crinkled cut squash and zucchini with some more of his olive oil mixture.
“I should put on more pasta,” he murmured, turning from the stove to see how much he had. “Is Carole here?”
“She’s checking in on the shop. She’ll be back in a few... Is all this for Sam and Finn? Did they do something good?” Burt leaned against the counter. “Or are you just nervous about your auditions?”
“Mm. Yeah. There’s that.” Kurt put the pasta in to boil and placed the tomatoes on the grill so they’d cook just a little bit before everything was done. He tasted his sauce one more time. This was a little more high fat than he would normally feed his father, but at least everyone would like it.
“There’s that,” Burt repeated. He raked his eyes over the big production in front of him. “You don’t have to feed us, too, if you don’t think you’ll have enough.”
“That’s okay. There will be.”
He finished up as his father watched him, plating the grilled tuna and veggies, a little swirl of pasta and drizzle of creamy sauce for everyone. He set four plates on the table, then let out a loud whistle for Sam and Finn. Wiping his hands on his apron, Kurt let out a heavy sigh, then took it off and hung it up.
“You gonna eat with us?” His father’s voice stopped him, although it wasn’t accusing or angry.
Kurt looked at his hands and shook his head. “I’m not very hungry. Just tired.”
“I bet.”
Kurt stiffened, then went limp as his father pulled him close for a hug.
“They’re gonna find him,” Burt said firmly. “They are. Just breathe deep and remember, we’re still here, okay?”
“Thanks.” Kurt raked a hand through his hair as he stepped back, getting sauce in it. He didn’t care, really.
Finn and Sam came into the kitchen. Finn’s brows went up excitedly, and he made a bee-line for the table. Kurt picked up Blaine and left the room.
“Where’s he going?” Finn asked.
“Leave ‘im be for now, huh?” Burt suggested.
Kurt was grateful for that.
He ended up on his bed, lying on his stomach and staring into Blaine’s eyes. Blaine didn’t seem too happy at the moment, but there really was no reason he should be. Kurt petted him, but otherwise didn’t move.
It was a little annoying that this was the only way he could get his father to let Blaine sleep in his room (when he and Carole were home), but he would take what he could get. A few hours later, he managed to motivate himself to rise and brushed Blaine’s fur carefully while practicing the vocals his audition pieces. NYCDA, AMDA, NYU, York College, and of course, the Alexander McQueen silver-tone brass bird skull ring, NYADA. He would be hopping on a bus to New York in a week, and he had to spend his remaining time stealing stage time so he could get his choreography down.
Also, looking for ways to help Blaine. Maybe he could learn to brew a potion or something. If Kurt was nothing else, he was capable of teaching himself to do incredible things; cooking, dancing, sewing, sword twirling. How much harder could this be?
If push came to shove, he was just going to have to take Blaine with him to buy some time. He couldn’t let Blaine fret himself to pieces while he jotted off to New York. Maybe Rachel could hold Blaine while Kurt was on stage.
“Look, babe... If I take you to New York with me, you’re going to have to stay quiet while I’m doing my auditions, okay? It’ll be kind of a long weekend, but I guess New Yorkers will be less likely to stare. They’re used to seeing weird things.”
Blaine bleated.
“Don’t take offense. You just don’t see a giraffe riding around in a young man’s stylish satchel every day.” Kurt lifted up one of Blaine’s sparkly blue painted hooves. “I can’t believe you let me do this. Your adorableness has nothing to do with you being a giraffe; you know that, right?”
Blaine nosed his hand. Kurt sighed.
“I’m going to have to bitchslap whoever did this to you from here to eternity. I can’t believe Cooper let me think you were missing.” Kurt looked up as his door cracked open.
“Uh, hey.” Sam frowned at him as he looked in.
“Hey.”
“Sorry, I heard you talking to someone and...”
Kurt was really going to have to install a deadbolt or something. Now it was like he had two nosy jock brothers hanging around the house. “Just chattin’ with m’giraffe.”
Sam’s lips curved upward, just slightly, and he raised a brow. “You’re really bonding with him! I wish he liked me... Um.”
“Yes?”
“Well, you weren’t at school today, and I wondered if you were okay. Y’know. With Blaine being missing. Mercedes is worried about you, too. She kind of...”
“She wanted to ask you if I was straight-jacket material yet?” Kurt pinched his lips to the side.
“Something like that. There’s half a tuna left. Want me to bring up a plate?”
“Not really, but thanks. Anyway. I’ll be in school tomorrow. Maybe wearing my Lip Service straight jacket. Mercedes can ask me how my head is doing then.” Kurt touched Blaine’s head when he complained about the thought of being left.
“That little guy is so attached to you!” Sam laughed. “Maybe you can keep him in your locker? Or in the choir room. Will he run off?”
“He probably won’t, if I tell him to stay. He just doesn’t like to be shut up where he can’t get out.” Kurt sighed and imagined how crazy Blaine would go if he were stuck in a locker all day. “I could just keep him in my bag. I don’t think people believe he’s real, when they first see him.”
“Yeah...” Sam watched him for another minute. “Okay. Well.”
Blaine let out a long bleat.
Go away.
Kurt chuckled. Sam laughed as well and shut the door behind him. Kurt rubbed his nose against Blaine’s muzzle.
“Why don’t you like Sam, huh?”
Blaine responded with a short bleat and a little shake of his head. Kurt set up a pillow next to his own, and Blaine rose, still a little shaky on his spindly little legs when he had to walk on a soft mattress, and tottered over to it. He sat, curling his legs around himself, and looked at Kurt with raised eyebrows.
Kurt blinked as he stared at Blaine. “I um. I need to moisturize. Hold on.”
Blaine lowered his head and waited as Kurt went to the vanity. He went through his routine more quickly than usual, just trying to keep his mind off of his inevitable, terrible question: What if Blaine stayed like this? What if he couldn’t be changed back? And the resulting, disturbing questions: What will my life be like if my boyfriend is a lap giraffe? Will people try to force me to ‘get over him’? To go on dates with other guys? How long will Blaine’s life be in this form?
The last one settled in his chest. His googling had only revealed basic giraffe facts, and the big ones only lived about twenty-five years. Blaine was seventeen now. Kurt returned to the bed, turned off the light, and curled an arm around Blaine. Blaine looked at him intently, then stretched his long neck over to Kurt’s face and pressed his nose against Kurt’s.
Don’t be sad.
“It’s scary how much I still love you, even like this,” Kurt whispered. “I’m not going anywhere. Promise.”
***
Kurt hated Blaine’s parents with a passion that he normally only reserved for the really weird fundamentalist Christians who preached that AIDS was a punishment from God (like his grandmother). The Andersons were apparently going to be gone for another week, one on business and the other on vacation, and in their infinity stupidity left Cooper in charge of his little brother. So no one seemed to have missed Blaine, aside from his friends, and Cooper still hadn’t put out a police report. In fact, he’d informed the school that Blaine was out of the country with his mother. This only confirmed to Kurt that Cooper knew exactly where Blaine was, and either he didn’t care that his baby brother was now a giraffe, or he couldn’t get his act together long enough to save Blaine.
Thus, Blaine was riding shotgun with Kurt from now until the unforeseeable future when Blaine’s family learned to give a damn. Luckily, most of the other students didn’t seem to notice. Half of those who did thought Blaine was just a toy. Mostly, Blaine was able to keep quiet and out of notice.
Mostly.
“No one asked you, Lady Hummel,” Santana sneered.
“I know you think you’re some kind of gift from God, but not everything you do is fantastic, and you have zero creativity as far as I’ve ever seen,” Kurt snapped back. “Mercedes does most of the arranging in your little diva group, and Brittany choreographs. You just stand around being a bitch.”
Mr. Schue raised his hand. “Guys-”
Santana shot up, knocking her chair to the ground, and lunged at Kurt. Tina and Brittany leapt up, but not quickly enough to keep her from getting right in Kurt’s face.
“You listen to me you flaming fairy princess-”
“WAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!”
The whole room went silent as Blaine let out a long, and very loud bleat. Probably the longest and loudest that Kurt had ever heard. The others started laughing before it was even over, and Kurt scooped him up out of his bag and held him to his chest.
“Hey! I’m okay!” Kurt laughed. “Shhh. I’m okay, baby. The mean cheerleader isn’t going to hurt me!”
“WAUGH!”
Kurt felt bad for being so amused when Blaine looked so put out. He bit his lip trying not to laugh, and petted the back of Blaine’s neck. Santana leaned over to look at Blaine, and he bleated in her face.
Back off, bitch!
Or so Kurt guessed was the rough translation from giraffese.
“It’s okay, little dude!” Finn said.
“I want the giraffe in our opening number!” Brittany cried.
Mr. Schue dropped his marker. “Wait. Is that... real?”
“He’s real,” Kurt said. Blaine groused a little more, letting out short, loud bleats until Santana backed away, holding her hands up in surrender, and started laughing. Then he looked at Kurt, his expression so annoyed that Kurt could only giggle and pet him, trying to calm him down. “It’s all right. Shhh. It’s okay.”
“Seriously,” Puck said, coming over to get a good look at Blaine. “Where the hell did you get it? I know you’re good at finding stuff, but damn.”
“Don’t make the giraffe angry!” Mike said. “He has too much rage for his little self!”
“Has Cooper just surrendered him to you?” Mercedes asked. “I would’ve guessed that he’d want him back by now.”
“Cooper’s been busy,” Kurt said. “Anyway, I wouldn’t trust him with a pet rock.”
“Let’s... get back to work, hm?” Mr. Schue looked back at the giraffe once again.
Blaine looked straight at Kurt and raised one eyebrow. Ignoring everyone else, Kurt kissed the top of Blaine’s head and petted his back until Blaine settled in his lap.
The girls suddenly let out a round of “aww”s. Blaine huffed and lowered his head, resting it on Kurt’s thigh.
“I’ve been done seen about everything, but I ain’t never seen a freakin’ attack giraffe,” Santana said. She’d resettled by Brittany, who was still making goo-goo eyes at Blaine.
Kurt held Blaine securely. He bleated once more, softly, and then followed the rest of the rehearsal, even if he kept his bleats to himself.
***
Kurt raised his chin and stared Dave Karofsky down.
“Put down the popcorn and step away from the giraffe.” Kurt reached down and protectively pulled Blaine from the theater floor into his lap. Who knew what kind of disgusting stuff was down there.
“I’m in a seat.” Dave circled his finger around Blaine’s nose. “Hey, cutie.” He touched the tip of Blaine’s nose. “Bonk.”
“WAUGH!”
The women in front of them shushed them loudly.
Dave laughed. “Only you would have a pet giraffe.”
“Giraffes don’t eat popcorn,” Kurt scolded him.
“How do you know?”
Kurt narrowed his eyes. “From my brainings.”
Dave chuckled again and looked up at the screen.
Kurt turned his head back to watch the movie. “I don’t understand this thing I’m seeing.”
Blaine craned his long neck far to the side.
“Did that guy just get attacked by a girl’s panties?” Kurt gaped. The women shushed him again.
Dave leaned over a little. “Makes you glad you’re gay, huh? Nobody’s boxers ever killed anybody.”
“Finn’s might have.” Kurt wrinkled his nose at the screen. “Okay. I’m traumatized forever now, thanks.”
“I’m sure your girlfriend will be devastated.”
Kurt swatted Dave’s bicep. “All the sex with ladies I won’t be having now.”
He tilted his head to the side and watched the events of this so-called “movie” unfold on the screen. Dave offered Blaine another piece of popcorn, and he licked it out of Dave’s fingers.
Dave grinned from ear to ear then pounded his fists on his knees in delight.
As they walked out of the theater together, Blaine coughed and leaned out of his bag, making funny honking noises that were definitely not his laughing sound. Kurt pouted and stroked the back of his neck.
“Aw. Did the crazily horrible movie make you sick, baby?”
“Oh, c’mon, it was funny,” Dave said.
Dave put his big arm around Kurt’s shoulders. Blaine swiveled his head around and opened his mouth angrily, but before he could complain, Dave had pulled Kurt onto the curb and out of path of a truck.
“Oh!” Kurt looked behind him, his eyes wide. “Thanks.”
“Douchebags. There are kids at this theater.” Dave glared at the truck now peeling out of the parking lot, then looked down at Kurt. “Careful. You wanna be in one piece when Blaine gets back, right?”
Kurt dipped his head and touched the top of Blaine’s head. “Yeah.”
“He’s not really in Europe with his mom, right?” Dave pulled away from Kurt and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Hey. Are you okay?”
Kurt took a deep breath. “No, he’s not really in Europe. And I’m... just worried.”
“Well. Y’know, if you wanna talk...? I’m not good at saying the right thing to make everything better, like you, but I can listen. Or distract you with godawful B movies.”
“There were so many balls...” Kurt muttered. “Shiny, evil balls. I guess the moral of the day is ‘don’t swallow’?”
Blaine let out a honk. A good honk.
“If they had science balls to control people, why did Doctor Meanbad need a personal artifact to make it work?” Dave asked. “That’s what I don’t understand.”
“That’s the part you don’t understand? I didn’t understand half of what went on in that movie. Between panty smothering, the flask sandwich, balls that change your personality, making out with tarantula, the 80‘s dancing, the trippy puppet-robot companion...” Kurt puckered up his lips and clapped his hands together like the puppet from the movie.
“It just didn’t make sense. This is science, not witchcraft.” Dave shrugged. “You know, like, voodoo- Well, not real voodoo, but magic where you need something that belongs to the person to have power over them.”
“It’s science-craft!” Kurt cheered.
Blaine coughed again.
“Oh, baby.” Kurt nuzzled Blaine’s nose and scratched the underside of his neck.
Dave opened up the passenger side door of his car. “Um, your hands are full,” he muttered.
Kurt got in and settled in with Blaine. He looked to Dave when he slid into the driver’s seat. “Thanks for doing this with me. I think it was good to just get my mind off of everything for a little while.”
“To say I owe you is the understatement of the year.” Dave buckled his seatbelt. “And I kinda remember your friends not being the most observant bunch. You smile a lot, even when you’re sad or scared. I guess that... I dunno.” Dave pursed his lips and shook his head. “Throws ‘em, or something.”
“They’ve noticed. Blaine’s seat is empty. They just don’t know what to do to help.” Kurt rubbed Blaine’s stomach. He was making weird noises again.
“Let me know if there’s anything I can do. And I’ll do it.”
“When I figure it out,” Kurt answered. “I’ll be sure to text you. We could use all the help we can get.”
Dave shook his head and pulled out. “I’ve been wondering... if it’s you... that’s been making me feel... so fine.”
Kurt scrunched up his face as Dave delivered the bad dialogue from the movie with a William Shatner prowess.
Dave waggled his brows. “So... deep down good.”
“You know,” Kurt said. “I’m not surprised to hear you say that. I did think you would identify with the femmy blond girl the most.”
“At least she got laid,” Dave replied. “According to the trippy puppet-robot, I should be hitting the discos to find a man.”
Kurt knit his brows together and looked out the window. “So we gotta figure out where to find a disco...”
“That’s probably Scandals on Saturday night.”
***
“Poor Blainey feels bad.” Brittany sat across from Kurt at the lunch table and reached over to pet Blaine’s head.
Kurt swatted her hand. “Leave my baby alone. And what are you talking about?”
“Waugh,” Blaine said wearily. He rested his head on Kurt’s arm and ignored the leaf Kurt had been trying to feed him.
“He’s sick.” Brittany petted Blaine’s cheek. He turned his neck all the way around to glare at her. “It’s okay, Blainey. Kurt’s a good mommy. He’ll take care of you.”
“One, I am not a girl, so I’m no one’s mommy. Second, stop calling my giraffe ‘Blainey.’ he doesn’t like it.” Kurt lifted Blaine up gently. Blaine complained until Kurt tucked him up against his body.
“You should take him to the vet. If Santana turned into a tiny animal, I’d-”
“What makes you think this is Blaine?” Kurt demanded.
Brittany forked a tomato off of Kurt’s salad. “‘Cause you got him exactly when Blaine disappeared. How long is he gonna be a giraffe?”
Kurt stared at her for a moment, then gave Blaine a soft pet. “I don’t know. I don’t know how it happened, or how to stop it.”
“You should find out. Ask your fairy godmother, or something.”
“Waugh!”
“I’m not calling Kurt a fairy,” Brittany told Blaine. “He’s a unicorn.”
Kurt wrapped an arm protectively around Blaine. He was dozing against Kurt’s body now and wheezing, slightly.
“Know any vets that deal with magically induced giraffeism?”
***
Come Thursday, Kurt was getting anxious. His google-fu had failed him (not that he was surprised that no one had useful, non-Harry Potter based information on magical transformations), and he’d gone to an “alternative” store in Westerville that had herbs and oils to ask them about the little bag he’d found and the marking on the piece of wood. All the clerk had told him was that it was meant to protect the wearer from attack magics.
The clerk had nothing useful about reversing a curse, but he’d bought the book and herbs she’d recommended anyway, and in his room performed a “spell.” The only result was that his room now smelled like he’d been smoking pot, and Blaine had barfed half-digested leaves onto the rug.
“Ugh.” After cleaning up the leaves, Kurt rose from the ‘circle,’ and went to his closet to retrieve some air freshener. He needed to try to talk to Cooper face to face before he packed for New York.
“Baby, you’re going to have to stay here while I go out, okay?”
A soft, unhappy bleat came from under his covers. Blaine had really disliked the smell of incense, plus over the past few days, he’d grown more and more lethargic. Hopefully whatever was bothering him would be out of his system soon. Kurt was afraid of what a vet would do with him.
“I won’t be long. Honey, I have to try this.” Kurt sprayed the Febreeze around his room, then sat on the bed and reached under the covers. Blaine’s neck rubbed against his hand. “If Cooper won’t help, then maybe I can get him to tell me what I have to do. Or where to take you for some medicine.”
Kurt ducked his head under the covers, smiling to reassure him. Blaine puckered his lips and smacked them against Kurt’s. Then he looked up with sleepy, blinking eyes.
“I’ll bring some treats back,” Kurt promised. “And we can watch stupid model show.”
He rubbed his nose against Blaine’s, petted his sides, then said, “I love you, baby,” before pulling out and getting his jacket. It occurred to him sometimes that maybe Blaine wouldn’t remember this if he changed back, or that the world might be hard to understand from his current vantage point, but Kurt felt like he had to let Blaine know that he still loved him and that he wouldn’t leave him.
As he picked up his bag, Kurt looked back to the nose peeking out of his covers. He sighed and went to fetch Blaine, who bleated happily when Kurt opened his bag and encouraged him to get in.
***
Despite Kurt’s annoyance at having to clean up the car five minutes into the trip, Blaine seemed to feel a little better after throwing up again, this time some corn kernels and green stuff on the seat cover. Kurt rolled his eyes as he got out and went to the back to get his bag. He’d placed Blaine on a blanket in the front seat, just in case he’d gotten sick again.
The sound of shouting caught Kurt’s attention. He motioned for Blaine to get down, but his long neck stretched up over the dashboard as he strained to see what was happening.
“You ludicrous coward!” a woman shouted up at the house. “You don’t even deserve her blessing now!”
“Then go bless yourself!” Cooper yelled down from his bedroom window.
Anger boiled up in Kurt’s chest, and he bolted toward the house. Cooper slammed the window shut.
The woman turned toward him, her dark red curls bouncing. “Who are you?”
“Kurt.” He stood there looking her over for a long minute. “Are you the one... Are you Delilah? I need you to take the curse off of my boyfriend. Please. This isn’t his fault.”
“You’re a little young for Cooper, aren’t you?” She put her hands on her hips.
“Well... Yeah, I am. But Cooper isn’t my boyfriend. His little brother is, and since you didn’t answer with ‘what curse,’ I’m going to assume you know what I’m talking about, and I’m not completely crazy.” Kurt squeezed the strap of his bag. There was every chance she’d turn him into something small and furry as well... but it sounded to him like there was more to it than her just being a wicked bitch.
“His brother...” She pushed a hand into her thick curls. “Show me?”
Kurt cast a glance up at the window, where Cooper was now watching them, then hurried back to the car. Blaine had fallen into the backseat trying to escape through the open door, and now looked uncomfortable with one leg caught in the divide between the seats.
“Hold still, baby.” Kurt reached back and freed him as Blaine bleated away, then lifted him up for Delilah to see. She looked both surprised and... a little weirded out. “Oh. You didn’t do this?”
She reached her hand out to Blaine, and he sniffed her and gave her a lick to show he was friendly. “I did. I...”
“Why a giraffe?!”
“The magic chooses the shape, not I,” she protested.
“The magic has a weird sense of humor.”
“...Yes.” She nodded and looked back at the house. “When Cooper defaulted on his deal, the curse should have transformed him... no one else.”
She crossed her arms and slumped her shoulders, with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry you got caught up in this.”
“Can you fix him?” Kurt asked, his tone just edging toward pleading. Blaine wiggled, and Kurt let him down. “Don’t puke on me, baby.”
Delilah touched her lips. She shook her head. “I can’t. I can’t break it until the contract is upheld. Cooper got his boon, whether he thinks it was worth the price or not. If he doesn’t uphold his end of the bargain, if he doesn’t make his sacrifice...”
She watched Blaine trotting up to the house.
“Let me do it,” Kurt said suddenly. When she turned her eyes on him again, Kurt felt like his heart might jump out of his throat. “What does he owe? Is it money? I’ll find it. I have some decent pieces in my wardrobe, and even the knockoffs I made could fetch a good price.”
“It’s not money, sweetheart.”
“Then what is it?” Kurt flailed his hands then pushed them through his hair. He was losing the tight grip of control he had on himself, but he couldn’t care. “Please, just... Is it... Is it my life? I could give you some years off of my life-”
“Oh, God-”
“I would gladly, gladly give that for him. Five years? Ten?” Kurt’s voice cracked and tears streamed freely down his cheeks. “I’ll pay it! My voice, like in The Little Mermaid? My soul? You can have them, just fix Blaine, please!!”
“Kurt, you shut up and get away from that crazy woman,” Cooper called from the doorway.
Kurt wiped tears from his cheek and glared at him. “I will give you anything,” he continued. He looked at her again and pressed his hands together before him. “Please.”
When her fingers reached forward to touch his forearm, Cooper jerked as though he were close to coming out of the house, but stayed where he was.
“Kurt, sweetheart,” she said gently. “I can’t collect his debt from you. What he owes, you can’t pay. I’m sorry. It doesn’t work like that.”
Kurt rolled his eyes up and bit his lip. The strength seeped out of him, and he looked to her one more time, with a smile both begging and hopeless as he bounced gently on the ball of one foot. “Please?” he asked hoarsely. “Please, make it work like that?”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She shook her head slowly, tightening her fists into balls, then shot a look to Cooper before running off to her Volkswagen beetle and peeling out.
Kurt watched the car drive off. He wished he could hate her, but she wasn’t a super grand high witch. She looked like a normal woman who had gotten screwed over, just like the rest of them.
“You have no idea how lucky you are,” Cooper said, stepping out onto the porch.
Kurt’s feet took off. They pounded the sidewalk, brought him up the steps that Blaine was struggling with, and landed him right in front of Cooper.
“Talking to her like that was really bra-”
Kurt’s hand loosed: It reared back behind his head and swung forward to strike Cooper’s cheek with all the strength left in his body.
Cooper stumbled backwards, and Kurt collapsed to the wooden floor.
“He is your brother,” Kurt spat at a shocked Cooper. “He’s your brother, you Goddamn son of a bitch!”
Blaine bleated loudly, and Kurt looked back at Blaine. So stubborn, he’d made it up the five steps and came up to Kurt, butting his head against his shoulder. Kurt scraped his teeth over his lower lip and touched Blaine’s cheek.
“It kills me that his life and future depend on a selfish, manipulative asshole like you,” Kurt continued in a voice he almost didn’t recognize.
“I’m not-! You don’t understand what they’re asking of me,” Cooper objected, still rubbing his cheek. “God, you’re strong. I didn’t expect the little guy my tiny brother wanted to help with bullies to have a swing like that.”
“I don’t care what they’re asking of you, and I sure as hell don’t care what you think of me.” Kurt picked up Blaine and held him in his lap. He still couldn’t rise. He didn’t know how he was going to make it through each day, if he couldn’t save Blaine. “You did this on purpose.”
“No, I didn’t! They’re the ones who-”
“You made a friggin’ deal with witches and when they asked for one of your personal items, you gave them something that was Blaine’s, so they couldn’t hold you accountable! His comb, right?”
“I didn’t know this would happen.” Cooper gestured toward Blaine. “Do you think I’m a psycho?! I had no idea what they would try to do!”
“Yeah. But you knew they would do something.”
“I thought we could at least talk about things before the curses started flying!” Cooper held up one arm and crossed the other over his chest. “They promised me the charisma to start my career! They said everyone would love me almost automatically. One famous commercial? I didn’t exactly get my end of the bargain! And I thought we might... renegotiate or-”
“There is no buyer’s remorse with witchcraft, you idiot.” Kurt rose, finally. He wished he could say something, anything else that would make Cooper realize what he had to do. For his brother, he had to fix this.
Kurt was out of words.
Blaine, however...
“Blauuugh!” Blaine let out a garbling bleat as he vomited down Cooper’s shirt.
“Ahh!” Cooper jumped back, then looked at Blaine with a funny expression. Not exactly anger, or fondness, but somewhere between the two.
“You hold a surprising amount of puke for such a little thing,” Kurt told Blaine quietly.
Blaine actually looked a little proud of himself. He bleated at Cooper twice, then turned his head to Kurt.
“Yeah, let’s go. I have to brush your little giraffey teeth.” He turned and jogged down the steps.
“Kurt!” Cooper called once Kurt had hit the sidewalk.
Kurt just closed his eyes and kept going. Cooper knew what he needed to do, and Kurt needed some time to breathe and think.
And weep. Mostly weep. After they’d gotten home and Kurt had locked them in his room and flung himself on the bed, Blaine cuddled up by him, not leaving his side, until he had to force himself to his feet and pack for New York.
Pair: Klaine!
Includes: magic, highlight for spoilers: mpreg of a non-main character
Word count: (total) ~17,685, (this part) ~5632
Summary: Blaine is magically transformed. Omigod.
Set after S3 “Big Brother” then goes AU. I didn’t even try to make it match up, though there are some repurposing of the events in “Choke.”
This fic is for my bb,
xenachakram12! I'll post the final on Friday so she can have it all by the weekend.Part One
Part Two
“Hey, what’s this?” Burt reached over to touch Blaine’s head.
Kurt turned from the stove where he was trying to distract himself with gourmet cooking. “I didn’t know you’d be home today.” He tried to keep his voice even, casual. “It’s a baby giraffe. I’m looking after him for Cooper.”
“Giraffes aren’t that small,” Burt said skeptically. “Not even babies.”
“All right then.” Kurt tasted the sauce, frowned, and sprinkled in more freshly grated parmesan cheese. “That’s Blaine. Someone turned him into a miniature giraffe, probably thanks to something illegal or immoral that Cooper did. I’ve been carrying him around in my messenger bag because he doesn’t like to be alone when he’s so small and defenseless, and I think he gets jealous if I’m around around hot guys now that he’s a tiny lap pet.”
Burt snorted. Blaine leaned away from his hand and bleated at Kurt.
“I’m cooking, baby. Give me a minute,” he said, stirring the sauce. “Sorry I implied you were jealous. You’re plenty handsome.”
“Baby? Is that the giraffe’s name?” Burt asked.
“Um, for now. It’s hard to name someone else’s pet.”
“I figured you’d name ‘im Beyoncé. Nice of you to look out for the little guy.” Burt scratched under Blaine’s chin. Looking a little embarrassed, Blaine leaned into the scratch and bleated. His eyes fell halfway closed. “Ha ha! Aw. Look at him. What’ll they think of next?”
Kurt flipped the tuna on the grill pan and drizzled the crinkled cut squash and zucchini with some more of his olive oil mixture.
“I should put on more pasta,” he murmured, turning from the stove to see how much he had. “Is Carole here?”
“She’s checking in on the shop. She’ll be back in a few... Is all this for Sam and Finn? Did they do something good?” Burt leaned against the counter. “Or are you just nervous about your auditions?”
“Mm. Yeah. There’s that.” Kurt put the pasta in to boil and placed the tomatoes on the grill so they’d cook just a little bit before everything was done. He tasted his sauce one more time. This was a little more high fat than he would normally feed his father, but at least everyone would like it.
“There’s that,” Burt repeated. He raked his eyes over the big production in front of him. “You don’t have to feed us, too, if you don’t think you’ll have enough.”
“That’s okay. There will be.”
He finished up as his father watched him, plating the grilled tuna and veggies, a little swirl of pasta and drizzle of creamy sauce for everyone. He set four plates on the table, then let out a loud whistle for Sam and Finn. Wiping his hands on his apron, Kurt let out a heavy sigh, then took it off and hung it up.
“You gonna eat with us?” His father’s voice stopped him, although it wasn’t accusing or angry.
Kurt looked at his hands and shook his head. “I’m not very hungry. Just tired.”
“I bet.”
Kurt stiffened, then went limp as his father pulled him close for a hug.
“They’re gonna find him,” Burt said firmly. “They are. Just breathe deep and remember, we’re still here, okay?”
“Thanks.” Kurt raked a hand through his hair as he stepped back, getting sauce in it. He didn’t care, really.
Finn and Sam came into the kitchen. Finn’s brows went up excitedly, and he made a bee-line for the table. Kurt picked up Blaine and left the room.
“Where’s he going?” Finn asked.
“Leave ‘im be for now, huh?” Burt suggested.
Kurt was grateful for that.
He ended up on his bed, lying on his stomach and staring into Blaine’s eyes. Blaine didn’t seem too happy at the moment, but there really was no reason he should be. Kurt petted him, but otherwise didn’t move.
It was a little annoying that this was the only way he could get his father to let Blaine sleep in his room (when he and Carole were home), but he would take what he could get. A few hours later, he managed to motivate himself to rise and brushed Blaine’s fur carefully while practicing the vocals his audition pieces. NYCDA, AMDA, NYU, York College, and of course, the Alexander McQueen silver-tone brass bird skull ring, NYADA. He would be hopping on a bus to New York in a week, and he had to spend his remaining time stealing stage time so he could get his choreography down.
Also, looking for ways to help Blaine. Maybe he could learn to brew a potion or something. If Kurt was nothing else, he was capable of teaching himself to do incredible things; cooking, dancing, sewing, sword twirling. How much harder could this be?
If push came to shove, he was just going to have to take Blaine with him to buy some time. He couldn’t let Blaine fret himself to pieces while he jotted off to New York. Maybe Rachel could hold Blaine while Kurt was on stage.
“Look, babe... If I take you to New York with me, you’re going to have to stay quiet while I’m doing my auditions, okay? It’ll be kind of a long weekend, but I guess New Yorkers will be less likely to stare. They’re used to seeing weird things.”
Blaine bleated.
“Don’t take offense. You just don’t see a giraffe riding around in a young man’s stylish satchel every day.” Kurt lifted up one of Blaine’s sparkly blue painted hooves. “I can’t believe you let me do this. Your adorableness has nothing to do with you being a giraffe; you know that, right?”
Blaine nosed his hand. Kurt sighed.
“I’m going to have to bitchslap whoever did this to you from here to eternity. I can’t believe Cooper let me think you were missing.” Kurt looked up as his door cracked open.
“Uh, hey.” Sam frowned at him as he looked in.
“Hey.”
“Sorry, I heard you talking to someone and...”
Kurt was really going to have to install a deadbolt or something. Now it was like he had two nosy jock brothers hanging around the house. “Just chattin’ with m’giraffe.”
Sam’s lips curved upward, just slightly, and he raised a brow. “You’re really bonding with him! I wish he liked me... Um.”
“Yes?”
“Well, you weren’t at school today, and I wondered if you were okay. Y’know. With Blaine being missing. Mercedes is worried about you, too. She kind of...”
“She wanted to ask you if I was straight-jacket material yet?” Kurt pinched his lips to the side.
“Something like that. There’s half a tuna left. Want me to bring up a plate?”
“Not really, but thanks. Anyway. I’ll be in school tomorrow. Maybe wearing my Lip Service straight jacket. Mercedes can ask me how my head is doing then.” Kurt touched Blaine’s head when he complained about the thought of being left.
“That little guy is so attached to you!” Sam laughed. “Maybe you can keep him in your locker? Or in the choir room. Will he run off?”
“He probably won’t, if I tell him to stay. He just doesn’t like to be shut up where he can’t get out.” Kurt sighed and imagined how crazy Blaine would go if he were stuck in a locker all day. “I could just keep him in my bag. I don’t think people believe he’s real, when they first see him.”
“Yeah...” Sam watched him for another minute. “Okay. Well.”
Blaine let out a long bleat.
Go away.
Kurt chuckled. Sam laughed as well and shut the door behind him. Kurt rubbed his nose against Blaine’s muzzle.
“Why don’t you like Sam, huh?”
Blaine responded with a short bleat and a little shake of his head. Kurt set up a pillow next to his own, and Blaine rose, still a little shaky on his spindly little legs when he had to walk on a soft mattress, and tottered over to it. He sat, curling his legs around himself, and looked at Kurt with raised eyebrows.
Kurt blinked as he stared at Blaine. “I um. I need to moisturize. Hold on.”
Blaine lowered his head and waited as Kurt went to the vanity. He went through his routine more quickly than usual, just trying to keep his mind off of his inevitable, terrible question: What if Blaine stayed like this? What if he couldn’t be changed back? And the resulting, disturbing questions: What will my life be like if my boyfriend is a lap giraffe? Will people try to force me to ‘get over him’? To go on dates with other guys? How long will Blaine’s life be in this form?
The last one settled in his chest. His googling had only revealed basic giraffe facts, and the big ones only lived about twenty-five years. Blaine was seventeen now. Kurt returned to the bed, turned off the light, and curled an arm around Blaine. Blaine looked at him intently, then stretched his long neck over to Kurt’s face and pressed his nose against Kurt’s.
Don’t be sad.
“It’s scary how much I still love you, even like this,” Kurt whispered. “I’m not going anywhere. Promise.”
Kurt hated Blaine’s parents with a passion that he normally only reserved for the really weird fundamentalist Christians who preached that AIDS was a punishment from God (like his grandmother). The Andersons were apparently going to be gone for another week, one on business and the other on vacation, and in their infinity stupidity left Cooper in charge of his little brother. So no one seemed to have missed Blaine, aside from his friends, and Cooper still hadn’t put out a police report. In fact, he’d informed the school that Blaine was out of the country with his mother. This only confirmed to Kurt that Cooper knew exactly where Blaine was, and either he didn’t care that his baby brother was now a giraffe, or he couldn’t get his act together long enough to save Blaine.
Thus, Blaine was riding shotgun with Kurt from now until the unforeseeable future when Blaine’s family learned to give a damn. Luckily, most of the other students didn’t seem to notice. Half of those who did thought Blaine was just a toy. Mostly, Blaine was able to keep quiet and out of notice.
Mostly.
“No one asked you, Lady Hummel,” Santana sneered.
“I know you think you’re some kind of gift from God, but not everything you do is fantastic, and you have zero creativity as far as I’ve ever seen,” Kurt snapped back. “Mercedes does most of the arranging in your little diva group, and Brittany choreographs. You just stand around being a bitch.”
Mr. Schue raised his hand. “Guys-”
Santana shot up, knocking her chair to the ground, and lunged at Kurt. Tina and Brittany leapt up, but not quickly enough to keep her from getting right in Kurt’s face.
“You listen to me you flaming fairy princess-”
“WAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!”
The whole room went silent as Blaine let out a long, and very loud bleat. Probably the longest and loudest that Kurt had ever heard. The others started laughing before it was even over, and Kurt scooped him up out of his bag and held him to his chest.
“Hey! I’m okay!” Kurt laughed. “Shhh. I’m okay, baby. The mean cheerleader isn’t going to hurt me!”
“WAUGH!”
Kurt felt bad for being so amused when Blaine looked so put out. He bit his lip trying not to laugh, and petted the back of Blaine’s neck. Santana leaned over to look at Blaine, and he bleated in her face.
Back off, bitch!
Or so Kurt guessed was the rough translation from giraffese.
“It’s okay, little dude!” Finn said.
“I want the giraffe in our opening number!” Brittany cried.
Mr. Schue dropped his marker. “Wait. Is that... real?”
“He’s real,” Kurt said. Blaine groused a little more, letting out short, loud bleats until Santana backed away, holding her hands up in surrender, and started laughing. Then he looked at Kurt, his expression so annoyed that Kurt could only giggle and pet him, trying to calm him down. “It’s all right. Shhh. It’s okay.”
“Seriously,” Puck said, coming over to get a good look at Blaine. “Where the hell did you get it? I know you’re good at finding stuff, but damn.”
“Don’t make the giraffe angry!” Mike said. “He has too much rage for his little self!”
“Has Cooper just surrendered him to you?” Mercedes asked. “I would’ve guessed that he’d want him back by now.”
“Cooper’s been busy,” Kurt said. “Anyway, I wouldn’t trust him with a pet rock.”
“Let’s... get back to work, hm?” Mr. Schue looked back at the giraffe once again.
Blaine looked straight at Kurt and raised one eyebrow. Ignoring everyone else, Kurt kissed the top of Blaine’s head and petted his back until Blaine settled in his lap.
The girls suddenly let out a round of “aww”s. Blaine huffed and lowered his head, resting it on Kurt’s thigh.
“I’ve been done seen about everything, but I ain’t never seen a freakin’ attack giraffe,” Santana said. She’d resettled by Brittany, who was still making goo-goo eyes at Blaine.
Kurt held Blaine securely. He bleated once more, softly, and then followed the rest of the rehearsal, even if he kept his bleats to himself.
Kurt raised his chin and stared Dave Karofsky down.
“Put down the popcorn and step away from the giraffe.” Kurt reached down and protectively pulled Blaine from the theater floor into his lap. Who knew what kind of disgusting stuff was down there.
“I’m in a seat.” Dave circled his finger around Blaine’s nose. “Hey, cutie.” He touched the tip of Blaine’s nose. “Bonk.”
“WAUGH!”
The women in front of them shushed them loudly.
Dave laughed. “Only you would have a pet giraffe.”
“Giraffes don’t eat popcorn,” Kurt scolded him.
“How do you know?”
Kurt narrowed his eyes. “From my brainings.”
Dave chuckled again and looked up at the screen.
Kurt turned his head back to watch the movie. “I don’t understand this thing I’m seeing.”
Blaine craned his long neck far to the side.
“Did that guy just get attacked by a girl’s panties?” Kurt gaped. The women shushed him again.
Dave leaned over a little. “Makes you glad you’re gay, huh? Nobody’s boxers ever killed anybody.”
“Finn’s might have.” Kurt wrinkled his nose at the screen. “Okay. I’m traumatized forever now, thanks.”
“I’m sure your girlfriend will be devastated.”
Kurt swatted Dave’s bicep. “All the sex with ladies I won’t be having now.”
He tilted his head to the side and watched the events of this so-called “movie” unfold on the screen. Dave offered Blaine another piece of popcorn, and he licked it out of Dave’s fingers.
Dave grinned from ear to ear then pounded his fists on his knees in delight.
As they walked out of the theater together, Blaine coughed and leaned out of his bag, making funny honking noises that were definitely not his laughing sound. Kurt pouted and stroked the back of his neck.
“Aw. Did the crazily horrible movie make you sick, baby?”
“Oh, c’mon, it was funny,” Dave said.
Dave put his big arm around Kurt’s shoulders. Blaine swiveled his head around and opened his mouth angrily, but before he could complain, Dave had pulled Kurt onto the curb and out of path of a truck.
“Oh!” Kurt looked behind him, his eyes wide. “Thanks.”
“Douchebags. There are kids at this theater.” Dave glared at the truck now peeling out of the parking lot, then looked down at Kurt. “Careful. You wanna be in one piece when Blaine gets back, right?”
Kurt dipped his head and touched the top of Blaine’s head. “Yeah.”
“He’s not really in Europe with his mom, right?” Dave pulled away from Kurt and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Hey. Are you okay?”
Kurt took a deep breath. “No, he’s not really in Europe. And I’m... just worried.”
“Well. Y’know, if you wanna talk...? I’m not good at saying the right thing to make everything better, like you, but I can listen. Or distract you with godawful B movies.”
“There were so many balls...” Kurt muttered. “Shiny, evil balls. I guess the moral of the day is ‘don’t swallow’?”
Blaine let out a honk. A good honk.
“If they had science balls to control people, why did Doctor Meanbad need a personal artifact to make it work?” Dave asked. “That’s what I don’t understand.”
“That’s the part you don’t understand? I didn’t understand half of what went on in that movie. Between panty smothering, the flask sandwich, balls that change your personality, making out with tarantula, the 80‘s dancing, the trippy puppet-robot companion...” Kurt puckered up his lips and clapped his hands together like the puppet from the movie.
“It just didn’t make sense. This is science, not witchcraft.” Dave shrugged. “You know, like, voodoo- Well, not real voodoo, but magic where you need something that belongs to the person to have power over them.”
“It’s science-craft!” Kurt cheered.
Blaine coughed again.
“Oh, baby.” Kurt nuzzled Blaine’s nose and scratched the underside of his neck.
Dave opened up the passenger side door of his car. “Um, your hands are full,” he muttered.
Kurt got in and settled in with Blaine. He looked to Dave when he slid into the driver’s seat. “Thanks for doing this with me. I think it was good to just get my mind off of everything for a little while.”
“To say I owe you is the understatement of the year.” Dave buckled his seatbelt. “And I kinda remember your friends not being the most observant bunch. You smile a lot, even when you’re sad or scared. I guess that... I dunno.” Dave pursed his lips and shook his head. “Throws ‘em, or something.”
“They’ve noticed. Blaine’s seat is empty. They just don’t know what to do to help.” Kurt rubbed Blaine’s stomach. He was making weird noises again.
“Let me know if there’s anything I can do. And I’ll do it.”
“When I figure it out,” Kurt answered. “I’ll be sure to text you. We could use all the help we can get.”
Dave shook his head and pulled out. “I’ve been wondering... if it’s you... that’s been making me feel... so fine.”
Kurt scrunched up his face as Dave delivered the bad dialogue from the movie with a William Shatner prowess.
Dave waggled his brows. “So... deep down good.”
“You know,” Kurt said. “I’m not surprised to hear you say that. I did think you would identify with the femmy blond girl the most.”
“At least she got laid,” Dave replied. “According to the trippy puppet-robot, I should be hitting the discos to find a man.”
Kurt knit his brows together and looked out the window. “So we gotta figure out where to find a disco...”
“That’s probably Scandals on Saturday night.”
“Poor Blainey feels bad.” Brittany sat across from Kurt at the lunch table and reached over to pet Blaine’s head.
Kurt swatted her hand. “Leave my baby alone. And what are you talking about?”
“Waugh,” Blaine said wearily. He rested his head on Kurt’s arm and ignored the leaf Kurt had been trying to feed him.
“He’s sick.” Brittany petted Blaine’s cheek. He turned his neck all the way around to glare at her. “It’s okay, Blainey. Kurt’s a good mommy. He’ll take care of you.”
“One, I am not a girl, so I’m no one’s mommy. Second, stop calling my giraffe ‘Blainey.’ he doesn’t like it.” Kurt lifted Blaine up gently. Blaine complained until Kurt tucked him up against his body.
“You should take him to the vet. If Santana turned into a tiny animal, I’d-”
“What makes you think this is Blaine?” Kurt demanded.
Brittany forked a tomato off of Kurt’s salad. “‘Cause you got him exactly when Blaine disappeared. How long is he gonna be a giraffe?”
Kurt stared at her for a moment, then gave Blaine a soft pet. “I don’t know. I don’t know how it happened, or how to stop it.”
“You should find out. Ask your fairy godmother, or something.”
“Waugh!”
“I’m not calling Kurt a fairy,” Brittany told Blaine. “He’s a unicorn.”
Kurt wrapped an arm protectively around Blaine. He was dozing against Kurt’s body now and wheezing, slightly.
“Know any vets that deal with magically induced giraffeism?”
Come Thursday, Kurt was getting anxious. His google-fu had failed him (not that he was surprised that no one had useful, non-Harry Potter based information on magical transformations), and he’d gone to an “alternative” store in Westerville that had herbs and oils to ask them about the little bag he’d found and the marking on the piece of wood. All the clerk had told him was that it was meant to protect the wearer from attack magics.
The clerk had nothing useful about reversing a curse, but he’d bought the book and herbs she’d recommended anyway, and in his room performed a “spell.” The only result was that his room now smelled like he’d been smoking pot, and Blaine had barfed half-digested leaves onto the rug.
“Ugh.” After cleaning up the leaves, Kurt rose from the ‘circle,’ and went to his closet to retrieve some air freshener. He needed to try to talk to Cooper face to face before he packed for New York.
“Baby, you’re going to have to stay here while I go out, okay?”
A soft, unhappy bleat came from under his covers. Blaine had really disliked the smell of incense, plus over the past few days, he’d grown more and more lethargic. Hopefully whatever was bothering him would be out of his system soon. Kurt was afraid of what a vet would do with him.
“I won’t be long. Honey, I have to try this.” Kurt sprayed the Febreeze around his room, then sat on the bed and reached under the covers. Blaine’s neck rubbed against his hand. “If Cooper won’t help, then maybe I can get him to tell me what I have to do. Or where to take you for some medicine.”
Kurt ducked his head under the covers, smiling to reassure him. Blaine puckered his lips and smacked them against Kurt’s. Then he looked up with sleepy, blinking eyes.
“I’ll bring some treats back,” Kurt promised. “And we can watch stupid model show.”
He rubbed his nose against Blaine’s, petted his sides, then said, “I love you, baby,” before pulling out and getting his jacket. It occurred to him sometimes that maybe Blaine wouldn’t remember this if he changed back, or that the world might be hard to understand from his current vantage point, but Kurt felt like he had to let Blaine know that he still loved him and that he wouldn’t leave him.
As he picked up his bag, Kurt looked back to the nose peeking out of his covers. He sighed and went to fetch Blaine, who bleated happily when Kurt opened his bag and encouraged him to get in.
Despite Kurt’s annoyance at having to clean up the car five minutes into the trip, Blaine seemed to feel a little better after throwing up again, this time some corn kernels and green stuff on the seat cover. Kurt rolled his eyes as he got out and went to the back to get his bag. He’d placed Blaine on a blanket in the front seat, just in case he’d gotten sick again.
The sound of shouting caught Kurt’s attention. He motioned for Blaine to get down, but his long neck stretched up over the dashboard as he strained to see what was happening.
“You ludicrous coward!” a woman shouted up at the house. “You don’t even deserve her blessing now!”
“Then go bless yourself!” Cooper yelled down from his bedroom window.
Anger boiled up in Kurt’s chest, and he bolted toward the house. Cooper slammed the window shut.
The woman turned toward him, her dark red curls bouncing. “Who are you?”
“Kurt.” He stood there looking her over for a long minute. “Are you the one... Are you Delilah? I need you to take the curse off of my boyfriend. Please. This isn’t his fault.”
“You’re a little young for Cooper, aren’t you?” She put her hands on her hips.
“Well... Yeah, I am. But Cooper isn’t my boyfriend. His little brother is, and since you didn’t answer with ‘what curse,’ I’m going to assume you know what I’m talking about, and I’m not completely crazy.” Kurt squeezed the strap of his bag. There was every chance she’d turn him into something small and furry as well... but it sounded to him like there was more to it than her just being a wicked bitch.
“His brother...” She pushed a hand into her thick curls. “Show me?”
Kurt cast a glance up at the window, where Cooper was now watching them, then hurried back to the car. Blaine had fallen into the backseat trying to escape through the open door, and now looked uncomfortable with one leg caught in the divide between the seats.
“Hold still, baby.” Kurt reached back and freed him as Blaine bleated away, then lifted him up for Delilah to see. She looked both surprised and... a little weirded out. “Oh. You didn’t do this?”
She reached her hand out to Blaine, and he sniffed her and gave her a lick to show he was friendly. “I did. I...”
“Why a giraffe?!”
“The magic chooses the shape, not I,” she protested.
“The magic has a weird sense of humor.”
“...Yes.” She nodded and looked back at the house. “When Cooper defaulted on his deal, the curse should have transformed him... no one else.”
She crossed her arms and slumped her shoulders, with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry you got caught up in this.”
“Can you fix him?” Kurt asked, his tone just edging toward pleading. Blaine wiggled, and Kurt let him down. “Don’t puke on me, baby.”
Delilah touched her lips. She shook her head. “I can’t. I can’t break it until the contract is upheld. Cooper got his boon, whether he thinks it was worth the price or not. If he doesn’t uphold his end of the bargain, if he doesn’t make his sacrifice...”
She watched Blaine trotting up to the house.
“Let me do it,” Kurt said suddenly. When she turned her eyes on him again, Kurt felt like his heart might jump out of his throat. “What does he owe? Is it money? I’ll find it. I have some decent pieces in my wardrobe, and even the knockoffs I made could fetch a good price.”
“It’s not money, sweetheart.”
“Then what is it?” Kurt flailed his hands then pushed them through his hair. He was losing the tight grip of control he had on himself, but he couldn’t care. “Please, just... Is it... Is it my life? I could give you some years off of my life-”
“Oh, God-”
“I would gladly, gladly give that for him. Five years? Ten?” Kurt’s voice cracked and tears streamed freely down his cheeks. “I’ll pay it! My voice, like in The Little Mermaid? My soul? You can have them, just fix Blaine, please!!”
“Kurt, you shut up and get away from that crazy woman,” Cooper called from the doorway.
Kurt wiped tears from his cheek and glared at him. “I will give you anything,” he continued. He looked at her again and pressed his hands together before him. “Please.”
When her fingers reached forward to touch his forearm, Cooper jerked as though he were close to coming out of the house, but stayed where he was.
“Kurt, sweetheart,” she said gently. “I can’t collect his debt from you. What he owes, you can’t pay. I’m sorry. It doesn’t work like that.”
Kurt rolled his eyes up and bit his lip. The strength seeped out of him, and he looked to her one more time, with a smile both begging and hopeless as he bounced gently on the ball of one foot. “Please?” he asked hoarsely. “Please, make it work like that?”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She shook her head slowly, tightening her fists into balls, then shot a look to Cooper before running off to her Volkswagen beetle and peeling out.
Kurt watched the car drive off. He wished he could hate her, but she wasn’t a super grand high witch. She looked like a normal woman who had gotten screwed over, just like the rest of them.
“You have no idea how lucky you are,” Cooper said, stepping out onto the porch.
Kurt’s feet took off. They pounded the sidewalk, brought him up the steps that Blaine was struggling with, and landed him right in front of Cooper.
“Talking to her like that was really bra-”
Kurt’s hand loosed: It reared back behind his head and swung forward to strike Cooper’s cheek with all the strength left in his body.
Cooper stumbled backwards, and Kurt collapsed to the wooden floor.
“He is your brother,” Kurt spat at a shocked Cooper. “He’s your brother, you Goddamn son of a bitch!”
Blaine bleated loudly, and Kurt looked back at Blaine. So stubborn, he’d made it up the five steps and came up to Kurt, butting his head against his shoulder. Kurt scraped his teeth over his lower lip and touched Blaine’s cheek.
“It kills me that his life and future depend on a selfish, manipulative asshole like you,” Kurt continued in a voice he almost didn’t recognize.
“I’m not-! You don’t understand what they’re asking of me,” Cooper objected, still rubbing his cheek. “God, you’re strong. I didn’t expect the little guy my tiny brother wanted to help with bullies to have a swing like that.”
“I don’t care what they’re asking of you, and I sure as hell don’t care what you think of me.” Kurt picked up Blaine and held him in his lap. He still couldn’t rise. He didn’t know how he was going to make it through each day, if he couldn’t save Blaine. “You did this on purpose.”
“No, I didn’t! They’re the ones who-”
“You made a friggin’ deal with witches and when they asked for one of your personal items, you gave them something that was Blaine’s, so they couldn’t hold you accountable! His comb, right?”
“I didn’t know this would happen.” Cooper gestured toward Blaine. “Do you think I’m a psycho?! I had no idea what they would try to do!”
“Yeah. But you knew they would do something.”
“I thought we could at least talk about things before the curses started flying!” Cooper held up one arm and crossed the other over his chest. “They promised me the charisma to start my career! They said everyone would love me almost automatically. One famous commercial? I didn’t exactly get my end of the bargain! And I thought we might... renegotiate or-”
“There is no buyer’s remorse with witchcraft, you idiot.” Kurt rose, finally. He wished he could say something, anything else that would make Cooper realize what he had to do. For his brother, he had to fix this.
Kurt was out of words.
Blaine, however...
“Blauuugh!” Blaine let out a garbling bleat as he vomited down Cooper’s shirt.
“Ahh!” Cooper jumped back, then looked at Blaine with a funny expression. Not exactly anger, or fondness, but somewhere between the two.
“You hold a surprising amount of puke for such a little thing,” Kurt told Blaine quietly.
Blaine actually looked a little proud of himself. He bleated at Cooper twice, then turned his head to Kurt.
“Yeah, let’s go. I have to brush your little giraffey teeth.” He turned and jogged down the steps.
“Kurt!” Cooper called once Kurt had hit the sidewalk.
Kurt just closed his eyes and kept going. Cooper knew what he needed to do, and Kurt needed some time to breathe and think.
And weep. Mostly weep. After they’d gotten home and Kurt had locked them in his room and flung himself on the bed, Blaine cuddled up by him, not leaving his side, until he had to force himself to his feet and pack for New York.
no subject
Date: 2012-06-21 08:30 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-06-21 08:35 pm (UTC)From: